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    Bones tired, the ache of not moving for hours shifted his hips finally, back arching inward as he leaned forward and pushed his chest outward to pops and crackles. Muscles released, the book tumbling to his lap, the smell of coffee bringing a soft pressed smile on the corner of his lips.  Groggy eyes blinked, fingers reaching to stave the tickle in his nose only to realize her scent was recently on him, green eyes snapping with clarity over the room and settling on the coffee cup. 

     

    Roll forward was fluid, following the trail back to the front door; empty couch, clothes gone, and his entire apartment smelling like the rain, steel and whiskey of a terrible mistake.  Both hands drew over his face, not wasting a second to surge into a complete OCD meltdown.  Every stitch of Chinese food in the fridge and otherwise was dumped into a large trash bag, the scouring of his apartment ending in everything scrubbed from top to bottom, everything that was touched or even near her stuffed into the washing machine, couch cleaned… coffee table, silverware… the string of curses that slipped from his lips at finding her Beretta and flask were still there rivalled anything he’d ever said in the Navy.  Wrapping them both carefully in the towel he put them into the bag for Mrs. Kolcheck.  He would drop them off at Monk’s for her to pick up.

     

    Dishwasher and washing machine running, the apartment effectively smelling like vinegar, wood oil soap and tea tree oil, clothing was completely stripped off and thrown in the washer… immediately jumping into a scalding shower.  Both hands planted on the front of the shower, letting anything remaining run straight into the drain.  Except, it wasn’t that easy.  Everyone was right, he was effectively an animal- animals could scent things that weren’t there even after they were washed away.  It was a tricky game, the bitterness that was icky in his stomach could so easily turn into something aggressive.  The purging of her completely from his apartment already had his hackles raised, his logical brain telling him to get rid of everything, the engrained animal rolling its eyes at the stupid human impulse.

     

    He’d begun scrubbing his hands and arms without thinking, seethed hiss turning the hot to warm when he realized blood had rushed to the surface of the angry skin.  Pain was a result of his handiwork, successfully purging her scent with his own blood and staving off even the thought of other impulses common in a man’s shower time.  He was a guy after all.  Mack was attractive.... growl sharp as he snatched soap and brought the sting of scrubbed raw skin to vicious fire, effectively dousing tingly fun time thoughts in sharp pain, rinsed off, water turned off.  Water dripped, skin shivering, most relatively unscathed to merely bright red irritation except for a spot on his shoulder.  Towel pulled away pink, it would heal shiny like a burn. He wished he could say it was the first time, sadly… he knew better.  The obsessive behavior had started before he was set for discharge- fixated with removing his presence from his jobs in order to be perfectly invisible. It had gotten out of control, but it had been a long time since he’d actually drawn blood.

     

    Sitting on the edge of the tub with a towel pressed to his shoulder, he waited for it to stop bleeding.  The area was numb from being shot, probably why it didn’t register he’d scrubbed so hard.  Getting up, he called for a cab and had time to spare.

     

    Shaving and dressing was slow, his normal fall color casual suit for work.  He didn’t have to go in until tomorrow, but he would swing by there today and see if he could reschedule things for the next few days.  He had no interest in going in for a while, he had no interest in anything really except shutting and locking his apartment and sequestering in his office.  Picking up Mrs. Kolcheck’s bag, he locked up.

     

    The ride to the hospital was quiet, at least for him, and complete torture.  Cabs were one of the worst smelling places for the Were on earth.  More than once the feline eyes rose to watch the rather chatty driver try to stir up conversation with him only to be met with a seethed sigh and a rolled down window to let the cool air flush his senses.  Hospital was just as bad.  Daytime. More foot traffic, coughing snotty people and pseudo emergencies demanding attention.  The ICU was no longer closed off, her door open and still sleeping peacefully.  She looked better, sitting next to her for a long time, thumb running across the back of her hand, barely a word to the nurses that moved in and out to take care of her.  It was a bad place to be. Silent, left alone to his thoughts that were still trying to make sense of the night before.  The signs he wasn’t wanted mingling with the unseen signs that he was- leaving him with a welling anger that was uncharacteristic for him on the off weeks.  His stomach was what pulled him out, getting up to transfer her things out of his original leather messenger bag that he’d brought her in with into her favorite bag- the wrapped towel of Mack’s things back into his bag. Leaning to leave a lingering kiss on the woman’s forehead, he left and stopped to speak with the triage nurse.  Stable, improving slowly. Touch and go.

     

    Another cab ride... he really needed his truck back, he set his secretary on the task of rescheduling all of the next few days’ appointments, keying into his office to close the door behind him and sit in solitude at his desk.  He knew what he needed to do.  Wanted to do. Every shred of his being fighting to do it, one candlelight of logic sputtering to stay lit.  It was not a good idea.  Mack had made her choice.  He’d said no, she’d insisted.  Great personal risk to settle a volatile Were that had fucked it up anyway.  It was her own damn fault.

     

    He still found himself opening his closet to pull out a copy paper box filled with Terese’s things.  She’d never come to pick them up, of course she hadn’t.  She was dead.  Her boyfriend?  A threat.  Someone stupid enough to try to trick him was threat to him if he was still watching the Were- which made him a threat to Mack.  Mere thought surged rabid anger over his skin.  It was illogical, and stupid.  She didn’t want him, and she’d made her own bed by coming to his home.  Still, the box was gone through, knowing Terese’s personal information was in it.  Wouldn’t be the first leech boyfriend taking advantage of his girlfriend that he’d seen, especially one stupid enough to send her in his place.

     

    He left with the box, a quiet nod to Christie and out into the street, snagging a cab that were a bit more plentiful in his area and delivered at the small apartment complex of his former secretary.  No apprehension, footsteps brought him to the far back corner on the ground floor and knocking at an apartment door.  The man that opened it was his height, smelling of something he couldn’t quite place.  Paint maybe? The recognition of the Were-shrink was quickly hidden by an apathetic draw on a cigarette.

     

    [kai]Hi, I’m Kai Morgan.  When Terese left, she left some things behind.  I’m not sure if she still wanted them, but I’d thought I’d bring them by.[/kai]  he couldn’t believe how cordial he could be.

     

    *npc*  Sure, sure.  She just stepped out for a minute, why don’t you come in until she’s back.  Am late for work though so has to be quick.

     

    The man took the box.

     

    Fabulous, the lying asshole was going to try and kill him.  The mild-mannered sounding Brit stepped in and closed the door behind him.

     

    [kai]She didn’t seem happy, and she left so suddenly.  I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings.[/kai]

     

    Bondo.  The smell was bondo.  It was on the guy’s hands.

     

    *npc*  Look.  I know you fucked my girlfriend, and I know you killed her.  I know everything about you.

     

    Feline eyes rose to the younger man who had pulled out a gun as he set down the box.  Every cordial inkling slid from his features, looking around the room for the first time and completely unfazed by the gun that was still pointing at the floor and not him.  Terese had said he was Vanguard.  Whether he was Vanguard or not, he couldn’t tell, nothing in the room said otherwise until his eyes focused on a pair of overalls similar to Mack’s, the patch on the chest identifying.

     

    [kai]Everything?[/kai] something inside his brain snapped, the nonchalant tone surprising even him.

     

    *npc* I know about the old lady. I know when you’re gone.  I know where you go.

     

    [kai]I’m sure your friends know too.[/kai]

     

    *npc* Fuck that, no. I squeak they bring a fucking team.  You, I’m bringing down myself. Bragging rights.  Sure, you’re quite the English pansy ass, suit wearing fake, but an animal is an animal.  Will be the talk of the garage.  Promotion maybe.

     

    [kai]Do it yourself huh? Is that why you sent your girlfriend in with a gun?[/kai]

     

    *npc* Fuck bitches.

     

    Wasn’t he charming.

     

    *npc* Not good for anything except bait.

     

    He was a threat. He was a massive threat.  There was no hesitation, anger possessed, gun thumping to the floor after the sharp meaty crack left the arrogant asshole on the ground. 

     

    [kai]Not English, dumb shit.[/kai]

     

    The rage, was overwhelming.  How dare he.  Threaten the Were, threaten Mrs. Kolcheck, and in turn threaten Mack by proxy.  He wanted to tear him apart, make him suffer and squeal every minute detail of who he’d talked to as he broke every one of his fingers. Instead, a broken neck was clean and easy to stage as a suicide.  Missing girlfriend that most likely left him, unhappy in his job.  Cut and dry for the cops.  It was instinctual, taking merely moments to stage everything he needed to.  Snatching the overalls off the hook near the wall, he debated taking them; a mouse to drop on Mack’s doorstep, deciding against it and hanging them back up.

     

    He had no idea if she knew him, the less tangled he was in this, the better.

     

    Picking up the box, he left quietly and got back in the cab that he paid to wait for him around the block, asking to be dropped off a few blocks from Monk’s.  Dumping the box into an already lit burning barrel in a warehouse district, he arrived shortly after, asking for access to his truck and putting the towel under his front seat- leaving a message for her in it that it was there.  He paid for the job, probably more than it was worth, but it would give her no reason to come near him again- calling another cab and waiting in the lobby for his pick-up. It was already late, debating waiting outside to avoid running into anyone, let alone Mack.

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    Mack managed to weather the tirade from her Corporal for being late.  Thankfully she knew her worth and while such things were frowned upon and punished with docked pay and such she wasn't likely to lose her job over it.  Sometimes people had rough nights and ran late, that was pretty standard in a world where everyone was suffering PTSD due to world changes of the weird kind.  Besides, she got her work done in spite of exhaustion normally and the Corporal had seen how tired she was.  He just hadn't been able to give her days off because of work load and the fact that she'd had a vacation not that long ago.  Mack understood, and just did her best not to whine while she worked.

     

    It was satisfying work at least to repair things, in spite of some of the attitudes she'd get here and there.  In spite of the arrival of magic and monsters into the world there was still more than a few people that had a habit of sticking to the old mentality of sexism.  While it was punished a lot more often, particularly in the Vanguard that stressed all humans being equal, it still existed.  Mack was use to the usual antics of some folks but it was the first thing that told her something was up when Evans wasn't there with his usual charming additions.

     

    Evans wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, and he hadn't liked Mack on sight.  It got worse since she had been the one to get to do a few of the special projects.  He was certain this was because she was trading favors somewhere but Mack knew it was a matter of work ethic and who was simply better.  Evans had a habit of biting off more than he could chew and had a horrendous need to be a hero in spite of not understand that he wasn't built for it.  That kind of mentality was what got people killed which was one of the reasons he'd been put in motor pool.  Fixing the gear was important, but people like Evans just didn't seem to get it.

     

    The fact that he was a prick about her being a woman was just icing on that particular cake of shit.

     

    Still she asked one of her squad mates about it curiously.  Rory was a good kid who didn't mind working in the pool and certainly had a nose for gossip.

     

    "Yeah he just didn't show up today.  Corporal's gonna take him apart worse than you when he does turn up I think," the freckled fellow said with a grin.

     

    Mack had to admit that would be a sight whenever it came about.  Watching idiots get reamed by their superiors was always amusing.

     

    She stayed late to make up the hours, and because she was almost done with the hummer she was working on.  Tired but somewhat jazzed on the coffee she had been chugging she headed for her bike.  At some point during the day she had realized she left a few things at Kai's place but hadn't worried about it overly much since she was intending to go right back after work.  The problem came when she got there and buzzed only to not be answered.

     

    Maybe he'd gone to visit Mrs. K?  Mack probably should have left a proper note about coming back and such but she had been in something of a hurry.

     

    Blast it, she felt naked enough without her gun all day.  She might have to wait a little longer on getting it back.

     

    Reminding herself that she still owed Kai a fixed truck she got back on her bike and headed to the garage. As per usual all the workers had gone home and there was only Simon...who was sitting in the back alley where she parked her motorcycle smoking and looking nervous.

     

    "Mack!" he said looking relieved.  "Hey that guy from yesterday came back.  I...I-"

     

    Kai was here?  What was he doing here?  Mack had been honest when she said it would take a couple days for her to actually repair the truck.  

     

    "Let me guess.  You want to run and hide from the big bad...kitty," Mack said remembering that Kai was not a wolf. 

     

    "Well...yeah.  He already paid and stuff so I'm not required really to stay here.  You do all the fixing after all."

     

    "And you still owe me my part," Mack stated in annoyance.  She wasn't without sympathy though for the little snot.  He never had been built for trouble.  "Why don't you go deliver it to my place so I have it for tomorrow ok?  Should keep you from pissing yourself, annoying me, or aggravating weres."

     

    Simon nodded nervously, looking behind him as he puffed with shaky hands.  "Yeah...yeah good idea.  Just...remember to lock up when your done right?"

     

    Mack had to shake her head as Simon handed over the keys and all but ran away.  Some people just were more nervous than others she supposed as she headed into the garage and making a turn to see the waiting area where Kai was sitting.

     

    "You know sitting here is not going to get the truck done any faster than the two days I said," she commented as she stood in the door way.  Her coverall being peeled down to her waist again like she'd had it yesterday.  She had to remind herself to hunt down the twenty-four hour laundry mat again so she could clean up for tomorrow at least and maybe not smell like something the cat dragged in...literally.  "Needing another lift already?"

     

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    The kid, Simon, had taken his money without question.  His behavior while doing it pressed the Were’s lips together in a grim line that was hard to read.  Instead of handing him the pen, Simon set it on the counter for him to pick up.  Money was barely touched as it came from his wallet and was placed into the “mechanic’s” hand.  Invoice was set again on the counter for Kai to pick up and sign.  The kid was doing everything in his power to not touch the apparently cootie-ridden customer.  On the one hand, it made his blood boil… on the other, he deserved it for purposely freaking him out the night prior.  Once all was said and done and he sat in the deserted lobby watching for his ride, it didn’t surprise him to hear Simon vacate the premises to the back alley.

     

    Sigh was long, fingers intertwined together as they hung between his knees.

     

    It had been a productive day.  Scrubbing the first crush he’d ever remembered having completely from his life, making sure the woman he regarded as family wasn’t dead yet and had everything she needed, rearranged his schedule to make sure he was off the next few days, killed an asshole, and paid for repair on his truck.  He could think of worse days, but not many.

     

    Eyes pressed shut at the sound of a bike. Damn it.

     

    He gathered up his leather messenger bag, cursing himself for not waiting out in the darkness of the street for his ride.

     

    "You know sitting here is not going to get the truck done any faster than the two days I said,"

     

    The Were didn’t say anything at first, making sure he had his keys, standing to leave the lobby.  He wouldn’t look at her, less than pleased expression on his features trying to hide the complete and utter ache that was jumping against his skin, [kai]I needed to pay for it.[/kai]

     

     "Needing another lift already?"

     

    [kai]No, I have a cab.[/kai]  he smoothed his suit jacket, realizing shyly that the mechanic had never seen him in anything other than work-out clothes and a hoodie.  It didn’t matter anyway, pausing as he pressed the door open… the twinkle of bells causing his eyes to flick upward, then back to her.  Eyes were looking at her, yet weren’t- the distance he’d pulled between them palpable.  [kai]I left your things in a towel under the front seat.  Cleaned the Beretta, needed some repair. Have Simon give me a call when the truck is done.[/kai]

     

    He shouldered the door out into the darkness, an old bus bench near the opening of the parking lot his perch.  It wasn’t a well-traveled area anymore. No busses.  Hands moved into his pockets, eyes squinting upward at the cold drizzle as he took his new seat and waited for the cab that seemed it was never going to come.  He hated being cold, and wet... but it was better than the alternative, eyes closing to keep whatever seemed to be stinging and welling behind them from springing forward.  Lashes burned, waiting for the rain to flood his senses with something else other than her.

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    Mack frowned a bit at the answers she got.  Apparently things had been worse than she thought over the long hours at work.  She knew the events last night were...well kinda bad.  Neither of them had been in their right minds really with Kai being a bit drunk and Mack being sleep deprived.  Nothing was really changed but hurt feelings might be eased by better and more coherent explanations of matters.

     

    That did however require someone that would actually listen.  In spite of Kai for once looking like the shrink he was, she wasn't getting the feeling that he was really listening.  More like he was wanting her to drop off the face of the planet.  She could kind of understand that...if she squinted and turned her head sideways that was.

     

    What the hell had she done to deserve this!?  She stuck her neck out for him and he put on the cold and silent treatment?  Why because she refused to sleep with him or be a teddy bear?  He didn't have a damn reason to be angry, not when she was trying to do what was best for him here and he was being an ass about it! 

     

    Grinding her teeth together in temper she marched right after the were to give him a piece of her mind.  Completely ignoring the weather conditions or that she should have pulled the coverall up to keep the tank top from sticking to her skin.  At last it was a grey one instead of one of the white ones she had.

     

    "So are you going to keep running away from me like a scaredy cat whenever I pop up now?" she demanded when she got close enough, feet planting and arms crossing as she glared.  "Might help more if you just spit out what the problem is.  I was meaning to stop by your place to talk to you about last night with clearer heads but if you'd rather play childish silent treatment games I can just rattle your teeth and be done with it."

     

    Mack didn't really care how aggressive she might be coming off provided it made Kai pay attention and talk to her here.  If she had to club him over the head first before explaining herself she would, and then be mostly at peace with things... only mostly though.

     

    She didn't like the idea of not seeing Kai again but...well what else could she do?  Tempting as it was to just see where they ended up she couldn't imagine it being a good place for either of them.

     

    "Well? What's going on in that head of yours Kai?"

     

     

     

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    He’d seen the frown, not here to please her, only business.  After all, it was her that said it wasn’t good for them to be in the same place together, hadn’t she?  Vanguard and Weres didn’t mix, not a more obvious statement could have shifted through his head given what he’d just done.  She was right.  It was too complicated, and it didn’t matter how much she wanted to help there was now a rhythm to the world that couldn’t be broken no matter how much he wanted to get rid of his tail and just walk on land.  When she followed him out into the rain, his jaw tightened- seethed sigh already set to take the words he knew were coming like a punch.

     

    She couldn’t have it both ways, and he didn’t have the heart to let her.

     

    As she got closer and started her tirade, he found himself holding his breath.  Why did it always have to be raining?  Yes. Fall.  Fuck fall.  Fall could go to hell at the moment because it was playing mind games with him.  When the world was wet, it was alive, spinning through his head like a giant map of scents he had to go explore. Now she was angry, AND wet.  Good god she was going to kill him.

     

    Her words plinked against his skin, finding himself looking at her overalls before he looked to her.  They were the same as Mr. Now Hung From His Ceiling Fan.  It was a myth that ceiling fans could hold people’s weight, they always came cracking out of the ceiling rigs, but not before they broke their necks and strangled themselves.  Some turned on automatically and the people were found quite quickly because of the noise the fan made plinking against the rope.  Mr. Now Hung wasn’t that lucky.  He hadn’t used a rope.  His belt was a preferred alternative, bruises from the flat leather would cover up anything his hands had done.

     

    The fact that he was thinking about how he’d just killed someone while looking right at her should have disturbed him.  It didn’t, only cemented the necessity of it as he watched her cheeks get the flushed angry blush, a corner of his lip creeping upward before he caught himself enjoying it too much and looked away down the street at headlights that he thought were for him, but weren’t.

     

    Guarded eyes flicked back to her.

     

    [kai]The problem is, it’s not wise for us to be seen together and I’m trying to respect your wishes.  I’m grateful for the help,[/kai]  Lie.  He never lied.  When did he start lying?  [kai]But you were right, it’s too dangerous.  Last night is past. I was drunk, said things I didn’t mean, did things I shouldn’t have[/kai]  Lie again.  This time he couldn’t even look at her, leaning down to brush a leaf off his shoe.  [kai]Everyone is guilty of that at one time or another.  I’m not going to start vilifying myself and others for bad choices.[/kai]

     

    His words had become increasingly quieter as he spoke, the wind-up toy beginning to sputter out of its mechanical response time.  The Were knew what to say, how to act.  It was when he’d just done what he felt… the blink profound at the word he’d chosen- that he got himself into trouble.

     

    "Well? What's going on in that head of yours Kai?"

     

    Eyes flicked to her again, an unreadable expression.  Never a more loaded question, eyes slipping away to watch for his cab back down the street.  They’d said less than an hour, it was now going on two.  He had to concede it was probably not coming and he should start walking.

     

    This time, the question did receive the silent treatment.  She didn’t want to know, and it was simply too terrible to tell her.  Constant struggle for humanity?  That he could do everything that terrified the population?  That he was guilty of terrorizing people?  He desperately wanted to make this work but cared too much to drag her into it with a non-drunken confession?

     

    [kai]You don’t want to know the answer to that question.[/kai]  he gathered up his bag, swearing at the cab under his breath to head back into the lobby and use the phone.   He stopped at her shoulder, looking down at her through the sides of his eyes, trying to avoid flooding his senses  [kai]You don't.  Get inside, you’re going to freeze to death out here.[/kai]

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    Mack could feel the fight leak out of her as Kai stated her logic mostly right back at her.  Why it sounded so hollow out loud she couldn't have said.  What hurt the most though was Kai attributing everything to the alcohol.  Something about that didn't sit right with her.  Alcohol did not make people do things, contrary to popular believe and blaming it for things.  It actually was more like a magnifying glass, showing everyone what was really under the civilized mask.  She'd been a friend of alcohol long enough to know this, but she didn't know why Kai was using that rotten excuse for things.  Being some black ops guy you would think he would have came up with a better line.  Even his tone didn't match with last night.

     

    She'd hurt him, that was plain as day.  So he was trying to slice her out quickly and as painless as possible.  Mack supposed she could understand and respect that...even if it hurt like hell.

     

    Kai's refusal to answer the question she asked about his head though had her snorting and her eyes narrowing.  She ignored the cold rain pouring on her, though she did feel it.  Instead opting to catch him shoulder with her hand so he stayed there...or at least try to make him stay.  After all Kai technically could ignore her and keep going where ever he was.  

     

    "I'm not going to freeze to death from a little rain.  At worst I'd end up with pneumonia," she commented, not thinking about what Mrs. K was in the hospital with right that minute.  "And I wouldn't have asked about your head if I didn't want to know.  I'm a big girl and I can handle it.  Want to know what's going on in my head?"

     

    The last was asked on pure impulse and riding the emotional roller coaster inside and not an actual question.  Mack had never been very good at not running her mouth, even in the best of times.  Being hurt or scared made her twice as likely to do it, and potentially more likely to say things she probably shouldn't.

     

    "I feel like I'm on one of those swinging ship rides at a carnival," she started off, moving her hand to illustrate the motion in case Kai had no idea what she was talking about.  Her other hand stayed on his shoulder.  "Because what I want and what is right are on completely opposing ends.  I want to stay, hell I think part of me needs to.  I've been on my own since the world went to hell and I'm tired of feeling like all I have is work and a bottle of whiskey.  You found Mrs. K, and you have no idea how envious I am of that.  To have someone that actually cares if you come home and misses you when your gone.  Just the thought makes me greedy for it, even if it's a lie or for a few months before you're bored with me like everyone else."

     

    She let go of him then, her fingers digging into her hair and pulling here and there until it was a mess.  Her expression flicking from wanting to terrified as her brain changed tracks on her to the worst scenarios and repercussions of such a thing.

     

    "It's not fair though for me to gamble you on that.  You don't take the Vanguard seriously, it's painfully obvious.  They aren't just humans with tactics though.  Hell I saw one of the higher ranking members rip a broiler out of a basement and smash a magus with it!  I can't even begin to imagine what else they have hiding in the back so to speak.  I can't take the thought of the life your building for yourself being smashed because I mess up or because someone recognizes me and starts investigating you."

     

    It took her a second to realize it was tears stinging her eyes again and not rain.  Christ what the hell was happening to her that she was crumbling into this mess of a person who couldn't seem to handle anything anymore?  

     

    Mack's palms covered the sockets and she pressed against them, frustrated at how much like a lunatic she sounded.  She was making no sense and doing nothing but embarrassing herself.  She should just say goodbye, go and fix the blasted truck, and then go back to her miserable little existence.  Kai had his own problems there and didn't need her adding to it like she was doing right now because she couldn't just keep her mouth shut.

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    Muscles froze the moment her hand touched his shoulder, whatever stung behind his eyes cooling immediately.  He didn’t want her touching him; it was what had sent him down the crazy road that derailed the night prior. More tactile than he ever wanted to admit, his world had changed from a solitary soldier, to a thing that craved touch and warmth and violence.  It was addictive, actively sought out in the days leading in and out of his changes. The endless searching never seemed to satiate nearly as much as Mack’s occasional errant need to physically get his attention.  Exhale was slow, the Were now frozen in place like a cat grabbed by the scruff.

     

    "I'm not going to freeze to death from a little rain.  At worst I'd end up with pneumonia,  And I wouldn't have asked about your head if I didn't want to know.  I'm a big girl and I can handle it.  Want to know what's going on in my head?"

     

    Lips had pursed quickly and were already forming the wholehearted NO when it was cut off at the pass by her quick wit.  There was no way he wanted to hear what was in her head.  He’d already made up his mind to cut the ties, she was making it impossible.  He couldn’t be hearing this, everything he was convincing himself wasn’t there she was now admitting to, the damn Vanguard in the way.  But she was wrong about Mrs. Kolcheck.  He hadn’t found her, she’d found him.  Lost.  Trying to maneuver into a life everyone else was trying to get out of.  The world before had been soft, apathetic when he was anything but.  After the Event, it hardened… and people had to follow in order to survive.  He’d lived his life that way, and was desperately searching for something in the other direction that the world was falling into. The woman seemed to sense that in him, an alley cat needing to find a roof over his head instead of sharper claws.  Aggression that needed to be calmed.

     

    …Just the thought makes me greedy for it, even if it's a lie or for a few months before you're bored with me like everyone else."

     

    Eyes finally looked at her when it escaped her lips, inwardly pleading for her to stop talking.

     

    [kai]You don’t know me,[/kai]  his words echoed hers from the night before, revealing in one fell swoop that he definitely did remember everything down to the drunken decision to rage quit the game and retreat to his man cave.  It couldn’t be left unsaid, she was assuming she meant completely nothing to him- it was entirely untrue.

     

    "It's not fair though for me to gamble you on that.  You don't take the Vanguard seriously, it's painfully obvious.  They aren't just humans with tactics though.  Hell I saw one of the higher ranking members rip a broiler out of a basement and smash a magus with it!  I can't even begin to imagine what else they have hiding in the back so to speak.  I can't take the thought of the life your building for yourself being smashed because I mess up or because someone recognizes me and starts investigating you."

     

    Chest was tightening, the prickling warmth again tickling at his lashes.

     

    [kai]The Vanguard doesn’t take me seriously,[/kai]  it hummed from his chest in a dangerously chilling timbre.  Eyes snapped to her then, the wickedness of a former life building in the Kelly green.  Everything he’d hidden from her, the “normal” front that everyone saw fell away in a second when he realized she was on the verge of tears.  This was hurting her, the rage that he couldn’t do anything about it unrelenting.  [kai]I am not a target, do you understand me? I am something they will not survive.[/kai]

     

    Forehead flinched, expression disintigrating into a complete confused helplessness… watching her palms move to press against her eyes.  The same agonizing crush in his chest tightened his throat, the one he’d felt the night before sitting alone in his hallway while she suffered over pain he couldn’t save her from.  What the hell was wrong with him? Was this normal? Was it normal to feel someone else’s pain?  People cried in front of him all the time, he felt nothing… handed them a Kleenex, gave them advice and sent them on their way.  This, this he couldn’t handle.

     

    It was instinct, not an instinct to kill or rip to pieces, but one to comfort- delicate fingers pulling her hands gently from her eyes before he completely enveloped the now wet ball of confusion.  One arm slipped around the small of her back, the other around her shoulders to sink his fingers into her mussed ponytail.  Cheek pressed at her temple.  He said nothing for a long time, he didn’t know what to say.  He couldn’t offer anything except his comfort, she was right.  They both knew it and he would not let her feel guilty about it.

     

    [kai]I’m pretty sure my cab isn’t coming…[/kai]  voice finally broke the silence of pattering rain next to her ear, an audacity to press his lips to her temple like he’d done it before.  [kai]I can walk home, or I can help you with the truck. There’s a bag of my camping gear still in the back, have a change of clothes in it.  Not too rusty on following orders, I’m good with tools, not afraid to get dirty… tell me what to do and I’ll do it.  We’ll get it done.  Then you’ll be done with me, no hard feelings... no guilt okay?[/kai]

     

    He took a long, stuttered breath as he let her go to make his way back into the deserted shop.  He hurt, voice so quiet it felt like if he raised it, it would fail him.  For a world that had been so numb for so long, the flood was crushing.

     

    [kai]C’mon,[/kai]  nodded toward the deserted garage, managing a slight smile through the ache.  [kai]You get to boss me around.[/kai]

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    Mack's expression only fell more as Kai retaliated on her comment that the Vanguard did not take him seriously.  She couldn't help but shake her head at it.  She didn't doubt that completely unleashed Kai could and would be a holy terror.  She didn't think of things along the lines of only one set being the apex predator.  She more considered the situation as something along the lines of a pack of wolves versus a mountain lion.  One didn't know who would come out on top until they were in the situation and the blood was flying everywhere.  A situation that she had zero wish to be involved in or to cause others to be in.

     

    "You're still just one mortal man Kai.  Were or not.  You're not invincible here," she pointed out even as she accepted the hug and wrapped her own arms around him to hold on in a sad kind of desperation.

     

    "Always so damn hard to get a cab in New York," she commented, trying to use humor to lighten things up again even as she closed her eyes a minute to enjoy what was likely the last hug she was going to get from Kai.  She didn't want to let go but she forced herself to anyway.

     

    "Could use the help.  Frame work is always a pain to do on your own.  Hell you can probably pop a few of the dents back out yourself being stronger and such," Mack said with a small grin.  "A rare practical application for that strength you were telling me about."

     

    She avoided commenting on hard feelings or guilt, knowing she would be upset anyway.  That counting as hard feelings or guilt was a different kettle of fish but at the least she knew it would hurt to part ways.

     

    Mack did however have to laugh as she moved ahead of Kai.  Her shirt peeling a bit from her back as she twisted before settling back over the mess of burn scars on it.

     

    "Just what every girl wants in life.  A handsome man at her beck and call.  We are definitely going to need pizza or something though or we'll starve all night," Mack commented with amusement.  Her laugh and words making it almost impossible to hear the crunch of tires in the gravel alleyways around the area.

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    "You're still just one mortal man Kai.  Were or not.  You're not invincible here,"

     

    [kai]I was more dangerous as a man than I ever will be as a Were,[/kai]  the humbled confession was one he’d  never admitted before.  Before he was a monster, he was the devil.

     

    Was.  He was a man, he wasn’t anymore.  She’d helped him see that.  He had to stop believing he was human, he wasn’t, never would be and had to stop thinking like one.  However painful it was to shed that part of his soul, it had to be done.  She assumed he held a gun and shot the bad guys, it was more complicated than that.  A hell of a lot more complicated, the acrid memories diluting at the feel of her arms sliding around him.

     

    It felt, nice.

     

    "Always so damn hard to get a cab in New York,"

     

    [kai]Been in them all day,[/kai] the distaste for them was evident.  [kai]they’re painfully fragrant.[/kai]  humor trailing off a bit when she released him.  The embrace had felt so normal for the brief moment it had lasted, like a calm catch up at the end of the day after two people came home from work… made dinner… Urge to press his lips on the top of her head and fix her ponytail kabashed.

     

    He couldn’t think like that.  Damn it.

     

    "Could use the help.  Frame work is always a pain to do on your own.  Hell you can probably pop a few of the dents back out yourself being stronger and such,"

     

    [kai]Put them in, most likely can take them out.[/kai]  he said quietly in the rum-rich gentle voice, gate back to the lobby wasn’t the quickest of things.  Something was bothering him, akin to the hair on the back of someone’s neck standing up.  It wasn’t a Were thing, it was a killer thing.  Killers knew when something was out of place.

     

    "A rare practical application for that strength you were telling me about."

     

    Smile back met hers, the same ruse he gave everyone in public.  It felt guilty to use it on her at the moment, but necessary.  He was focusing on something else, the first flick of sound reaching his ears. Simon returning?  Monk’s Brooklyn garage wasn’t the most traveled of places at night, halfway in between commercial shops and warehouses.  There were few reasons anyone would be here at this hour other than business, and business was closed.  Eyes blinked briefly as she moved ahead of him, catching something odd on her back.  A scar?  A hell of a scar.  The flush over his skin was wicked, animalistic was the closest thing he could describe it as.  A guard dog viciously angry at their charge being injured… wanting to ask, but focused on what was at hand.  Eyes nonchalantly watching the darkness.

       

    "Just what every girl wants in life.  A handsome man at her beck and call.  We are definitely going to need pizza or something though or we'll starve all night,"

     

    [kai]Starving now.  I’ll buy the pizza, if you order. No onions, anything else is game.[/kai] he locked the lobby door behind him, a casual logical gesture because the business was closed, but a strategic one as well.  Main bay doors were closed, lobby was locked. He didn’t like surprises.  Pulling up the back hatch on his poor SUV, he opened the floor storage and pulled out an old rucksack, looking around a moment to figure out where the bathroom was. No more pulling off shirts in front of Mack.  The deal had been struck and he was stuffing everything into the pit at the bottom of his stomach.  Morning and they parted ways, no more complications.  [kai]Need to go get out of the monkey suit, be right back.[/kai]

     

    He found the bathroom, no problem, not planning on staying there.  Monk had to be given credit, even in a garage full of guys the bathroom was clean and well taken care of.  Clothes were whipped off in blinding speed, in exchange for jeans, a grey teeshirt and a black hoodie that were all faintly covered in mud from his last trip out.  Jump boots laced with incredible agility, pants yanked over them as he left his good clothes on the sink and put the toilet seat down, lifting the tank lid off to pull out several pieces of hardware.  He shut off the light and stood on the seat, carefully removing the crank on the window with his makeshift tools.  It was silently pushed out, the nimble Were yanking up his hood and sliding out into the darkness to scale the side of the building and disappear onto the roof.  He lay there on the tarpaper for a moment, listening, Mack’s movement identified as he rolled up and crept along in the darkness to peer around the shop in all directions.

     

    Lip quivered at the scent of perfume bleeding from somewhere, eyes following it to the alleyway and a car.

     

    Bingo. 

     

    Eyes squinted to make out more details.  Nothing.  All the wonderful Were skills and no night eyesight?  Still human.  Damn.

     

    Slinking back, he slithered down to the window and slid in, replacing the parts on the window and returning everything to its place- washing his hands.  Folding things carefully into his rucksack, two blades that were zipped into the sides emerged.  One went into his boot, the other buckled on his bicep under the hoodie sleeve.

     

    Shit.

     

    He was wet.  Door opened, thoughts were flipping ever an excuse, eyes travelling over the work bench.  Using his bag as justification to get into the driver’s side, his hand slipped under the front seat nonchalantly as he set his bag on the seat, sliding the Beretta into his hoodie pocket and closing the door.  Snatching of random objects was methodical, depositing them onto the workbench.  He immediately began to tinker, waiting for orders from the boss and a chance to slip the Beretta back into Mack’s hands without drawing the attention of whomever he was about to kill.  He had seconds before she finished ordering and started bossing him around… leaning over to look eye level at the odd thing he'd built and blowing softly across his concoction as he flicked it with his finger.  She made bombs, she’d mentioned it before… so did he, the rather innocuous improvised device he’d put together slid to the side away from him to not catch her attention as he looked to find her… gauging his time whether or not he could make another.

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    "No onions on the poor excuse for pizza this city has," Mack said with a comically wistful sigh.  "I know New Yorkers are proud of it, but their pizza is just so unnatural when you grew up on Chicago's glorious construction of the pizza pie.  God I miss that pizza."

     

    Mack headed for the phone as Kai headed for the bathroom to change.  The mechanic hunting through the phone book for a moment for a decent pizza place and dialing.  She twisted to lean against the counter, looking out the shop's door.  Her brown brows pulled low for a moment and she straightened thinking she saw a shadow move and trying to get a better look.  One never knew when trouble might lurk after all so it was good to be careful.

     

    The last thing she heard was a girl on the other end of the line asking to take her order before the phone slipped from Mack's boneless fingers.  It crashed against the counter seconds before Mack fell to the ground, her dogtags and the rings on her necklace sounding quietly as she hit the floor hard.

     

    There was no wounds, no smells, she couldn't even scream as her body twisted in pain.  The sounds she could make were unintelligible, moans and groans that made no sense as they reached her ears.  To anyone else she was just flailing on the floor for no reason with her face twisted up in horror, fear, and panic as she clawed at her own limbs like she was trying to rip the flesh from her bones.  Blood starting to seep up through the scratches on her arms and face, rips appearing in the coveralls from the force of her tearing at herself like an animal trying to gnaw off a leg to escape.  There was only the slightest strangeness in her eyes lurking with the panic and the pain.  The eyes dilated wide but unfocused as if she had drank a lot or been drugged...or perhaps was asleep with her eyes open.

     

    For Mack, it was a living hell.  She could feel something crawling around in her blood, eating her alive.  There was bite marks everywhere on her, flat teeth like a human's.  Pieces of her flesh had been torn out and now the blood was congealing and sealing it in!  It was burning her alive and all she knew was that she was hungry...so very hungry.

     

    She had to get it out!  She had to get it out!  She didn't want to turn into a monster!  Bleed the virus out of her!  Her hands were already dulling in color, making her as withered and pale as a corpse!  Who was laughing at her!?  Stop laughing!  Stop the maddening mocking laughing!  She had a knife somewhere, she always had a knife somewhere if she could just remember.  She'd rather die than turn into a monster!

     

    In the alley way Mack had been trying to see down her tormentor watche, her hands idly playing with a delicate looking stiletto for the moment.  It was so pleasing to reduce the dog to where she should have been.  On the floor in the dirt.  It had been tempting to include the man in the mess.  Really men were such annoying things, barely above the bitch writhing on the floor.  For her plan to work though she had to refrain from indulging herself, otherwise someone might actually connect the dots.

     

    No it was better this way.  Slow and steady blows to the right places.  First was the sleep, all the better to hide things but now...now the real fun began and eventually the girl cave into herself leaving her with nothing and no one.  A little push to make her snap like a twig.  She might let the girl live just long enough to see the first victims before sliding the dagger under the rib.  Then it would be such a joy to simply sit and wait for the bitch to bleed out as she realized that she should never have challenged her betters.

     

    Things would return to normal...slowly for she knew very well how far her abilities could go.  Her fun for the night was done for now and she believed it more than made up for last night when the little mongrel hadn't come home to be subjected to her normal treatments.  A strange thing for one that ran like clockwork but what could be said.  Humans were strange and stupid creatures.

     

    With that the shadow got back in her car without a worry.  She was confidant that the man would think to keep his friend from slitting her own throat in her panic more than to check on the car like he had.  He was a puzzling one but she would figure him out quickly enough.

     

    Maybe she would see about orchestrating the dog to go after him first.  Oh it was so fun to play these games.

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    "No onions on the poor excuse for pizza this city has, I know New Yorkers are proud of it, but their pizza is just so unnatural when you grew up on Chicago's glorious construction of the pizza pie. God I miss that pizza."

     

    Again the canned smile and he was off on his own mission for a bit. There was no way his interlude with the ill-fated boyfriend could have caught up to him unless there was unnatural involved, the well-oiled machine moving through the motions to prepare himself for something ugly. The car was concerting, senses on overdrive. In an existence where ears picked up every minute detail, sounds had to be constantly filtered out. A phone thunking against a counter within a building where objects clunked around on a regular basis didn’t slide to the forefront at first as he gathered his arsenal, chiming of her loaded dogtags a normal ambient sound with her… the odd silence afterward prickled his skin… The absence of sound drew his attention in a fierce snap toward lobby, along with an itch in his nostrils that had been lit up by the rain just minutes before. Lobby was empty, narrowed eyes on the shadows outside beyond the warm light of garage lights.

     

    Where was Mack?

     

    He could smell her, leaning slightly to the left to peer beyond the open tailgate of his SUV to the glass door into the lobby.

     

    [kai]Mack![/kai]

     

    Muscles surged to life, the door nearly snapping off its hinges, squeal of jump boots leaving black skids on the linoleum floor at the immediate kneel. Brain had already flipped through the obvious, it was not the first time he’d cared for someone in a full seizure, but this wasn’t natural, tightness in his throat knowing exactly who was responsible… Hoodie snapped off, Beretta in the back of his waistband, he balled it up and put it under her head. Wrists were gathered into one hand to keep her from hurting herself further

     

    [kai]Mack… Mack,[/kai] he said on a breath, free hand brushing her hair from her face and patting her cheek softly. Panic. It was crushing, the tightness in his chest new… disorienting. She couldn’t get hurt… she couldn’t get hurt! A split personality was trying to maintain finite control over blood that wanted nothing but violence… logic over fury. Calm over wrath. Why was he freaking out?!? [kai]MACK![/kai]

     

    His world cracked, scent of her blood sending the cat into an absolute frenzied rage. Growl that erupted from his lips was feral, attention whipping toward the front door and the shadowed alley beyond. Lobby door exploded outward, Beretta already pulled from his waistband and on point in a steel steady aim as his secured footsteps moved forward methodically after the fleeing car. Aim was true beyond the vicious furl of brows down the sight, pulling the trigger in a deadly precise rhythm to empty the clip into the back window of the vehicle. If he’d had his Para’s, his fucking Paras! Even in his hands the gun was not an accurate distance weapon, not all the training in the world could change the limitations of a weapon…and all the Were power in the world couldn’t be in two places at once. Gun was snapped down to his side, the staunch vicious glare of a Were in full kill mode leaving no doubt in a rearview mirror it was not over. Not ever.

     

    Turn on his heel in a full circle swept his senses through the area in seconds, empty weapon back along his spine. They were alone, rush back bringing him again to her side, sitting on the floor with his back against the counter. He drew her back against his chest and wrapped one arm around her to hold her arms at her sides, other hand holding her wrists together. There was nothing else he could do... he wasn't a mage, he couldn't get her anywhere, nobody to call... The Were curled around her, jaw on her cheek and speaking into her ear softly. Things he knew he shouldn’t have said to her, confessed and personal, they’d had a deal… whispered nonetheless as he waited for whatever demons to subside, voice trying to pull her from whatever oblivion she’d been yanked into.

     

    [kai]C’mon Mack…[/kai] nudge of his temple against hers was instinctual. [kai]I can’t fix my truck by myself, and the cabs are going to kill me.[/kai] breathless smile faltered, head gently banging several times back against the counter wall before he nuzzled her temple again and remained there, feeling her quickened pulse on his cheek through her skin… unable to breathe, desperation in his voice he couldn't explain, and affection that was heartbroken... [kai]...you can't leave me. Please don't leave me.[/kai]

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    Who was that?  Man they looked delicious.  What the hell was she thinking!?  They weren't a steak dammit!  No dammit she didn't want something under her head!  She wanted to bash her skull on the floor hard enough to have her brain splatter everywhere.  That was how you stopped zombies right?  The brain needed to be disconnected from the rest.  Bashing was good for that.  One of the reasons she kept an old fashion baseball bat in her house along with the guns and pipe bombs and potato canon.

     

    She tried yelling at the idiot but it came out more an angry gurgle.  She tried to yank herself away from him, tell him to run.  The muscles weren't cooperating though, instead spasming out on their own as she tried to claw her way to the morgue instead of rising from the dead.  Since that wasn't working so well though she tried bashing her head again for a moment, except the blasted helpful idiot had caught her and was patting at her cheek.  What was she five and being adorable?!  Couldn't he see the bite marks and what was happening here!?

     

    Wait...she knew him didn't she?  He was calling her name so she must have given him that.  She tried to focus, to say something so he could just put her out of her misery.  That's what a good friend did right?  When they cared about the person turning into a zombie?

     

    Wait where was he going?  

     

    Mack could only stare dumbly with wide eyes as the guy went ripping through a door and pulling a gun from his back.  He was shooting at someone and she didn't know why.  More zombies maybe?  

     

    He was back?  Looking frightfully angry and such but back?  Shouldn't he be running away?  She tried to protest as he sat down and pulled her to his chest.  Weakly trying to push away.  Did the nut have a  death wish?  She kept blinking owlishly at him as he secured her arms and wrists, hissing a bit from the pain.

     

    He was warm though, and she'd been freezing.  She supposed there was worse places to die?

     

    Her brain distantly registered that he was talking but the words did not make sense, her mind having been completely ripped from current times and thrown back into hellish days modified just a touch by her tormenter to include Mack's worst nightmare.  It was the nudging and nuzzling that hit a button somewhere in her head.  There was something about that...

     

    She clung to it like a lifeline, trying to hold on while the mind kept swirling like someone had taken it and thrown a tube of Mentos candies in it.  Apparently she had the brain of Diet Coke cause it felt like it had exploded everywhere.  

     

    She could remember being nuzzled before...right before being kissed.  There was...something about that she should remember but everything was fuzzy.  Her body was still trying to twist around and everything hurt.  She was still freezing and painfully starved.  She could still see bite marks on her arms where he had them caught in front of her.  Somewhere though, Mack's brain started pushing back against what had been done to her.  

     

    "thka..." she managed to get out though it sounded choked from a tongue that was still not wanting to move and teeth that she was afraid to move least they start latching onto people.  Her eyes blinked a moment and hurting, feeling like they had dried out.  With few ways to manage to communicate right that moment she dropped her head a moment and then pushed it back against Kai's nudging, trying to let him know she was here.  There was more gurgling and groaning with something like whining as she tried to talk but her mouth wouldn't cooperate.

    Kai could handle her, if she went zombie on him.  Her mind still sitting on thinking she was infected as she rubbed her head against Kai's shoulder.  He knew how to kill people, he could probably figure it out.  Wasn't there something about scientist finding out weres couldn't get the zombie plague?  Oh she hoped that was true, cause she didn't like the idea of a zombie were-kitty terrorizing people...much less a zombie-Kai.  Both of those prospects sounded terrible actually.

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    The first sound from her lips brought a slight inhale from his.  She seemed, more conscious… his blood still boiling, unable to think of anything else but death.  Death.  Death.  It itched under his skin, was on his tongue, blood in his throat, burned… pushed him onward like a starving lion pouncing for its prey.  He wanted blood, desired it so badly his skin shivered.  This was what he had always been afraid of, allowing the core of his being loose on the world in his conscious weeks. For the first time, he didn’t feel guilty, he was a man possessed.  Lips unabashedly pressed to her temple at the first indication she knew who he was… but they’d had a deal.  Nevertheless, their deal was under “normal” circumstances.  This was no longer aligned with their established rules.  A death threat was not supposed to be part of this evening’s festivities.  The deal was off.  Until he had blood on his hands, the deal was shit.  Someone was going to die.  If it wasn’t by his own hands, the cat would tear them apart with no resistance from the upstanding citizen that fought so hard to be normal. 

     

    The feel of her frayed ponytail rubbing against his shoulder brought lowered lashes, patience falling over the unleashed cat.  Doused water on the vivid flame.  He stilled, listening to her heartbeat, waiting for the muscles to stop fighting against him and cradling her protectively.

     

    Feline eyes abruptly flicked to the phone that was dangling and swaying slightly from the top of the counter next to them, the rhythmic scream of a disconnected line bristling his finally calmed interior.  Boot heels slid backward, winding his hoodie around his wrist and he stood with her in one fell swoop, holding her against his chest.  Phone returned to its perch, the Were cradling the nearly unresponsive mechanic against his chest to retrieve his rucksack and Mack’s flask from the front seat.  In search of the closest thing to a break room, he was really hoping it was as clean as Monk demanded the bathroom was.

     

    He wasn’t disappointed, the room right next to the bathroom.  Everything was vinyl and tile for obvious reasons, but it was clean. Setting her down carefully on the couch, his hoodie went under her head and he pulled his suitcoat from his bag and covered her with it.  Spending mere seconds soaking a towel in warm water and wringing it out, he returned and pulled up a chair next to her to start cleaning the blood from her scratches.  He wasn’t sure if she was fully conscious or could even respond, only that touch from someone that refused to let them go seemed to always speak volumes if they couldn’t find consciousness.  He’d held on to gruesomely injured comrades before, the ones that made it were always the ones that had someone holding their bloody hand.

     

    [kai]Mack?[/kai]  he asked quietly, brushing her hair from her face and finger combing it to return to its ever disobeying ponytail.  Flask was unscrewed and flipped over to wet his thumb with the wicked stuff, brushing the moisture over her bottom lip.  [kai]…do you remember anything?[/kai]

     

    He had his camping gear still in the truck, sleeping bag.  If she could wake up he would grab it and warm her up before they left.  They were NOT staying here.  Cars in the parking lot, ones in the side lot that were used for parts, her bike out back.  He would steal and hotwire something if he had to.  Come hell or high water she was staying the night at his place again, and he'd insist until this clusterfuck was taken care of.  Deal be damned.

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    Her sluggish mind was still struggling as was shifted about and then picked up.  She wasn't normally the type for this stuff but she was also not in a position to argue about it.  Specially given that her mouth was still not working in spite of her best attempts to make it do what she wanted.  Everything felt so heavy, like gravity had increased and somehow made her limbs twenty times heavier.  It was simply far easier to lay against Kai as he moved around with her.

     

    The couch was not so welcomed at first.  For one thing it was cold and she felt cold enough.  The only thing she could manage though was a garbled form of protest as Kai put his hoodie down as a pillow and his suit coat over the rest of her.  It was warmer she supposed and very sweet but she would have much preferred just staying curled in his lap or something.  She supposed that wasn't the most comfortable for him though.

     

    She felt tired now, the pain fading from limbs at a steady pace though still making her twitch here and there.  She closed her eyes just thinking to rest them a minute and cringed only a bit as Kai started cleaning the scratches and such.  She stretched though feeling Kai's fingers brushing over her, wanting to hold onto that contact just a little more while he held her hand.  His question bouncing a bit in her ear before it finally got to her brain and had her trying to remember things.

     

    "Pizza," she managed to get out, her rebellious mouth not quite managing the z's though.  Her jaw was slow to unclench and her tongue felt like it had inflated.  She tasted the whiskey on her lip  that had her jerking up to catch his finger to suck the rest of it off.  The taste of things jerking a few more pieces of her tattered mind into place courtesy of addiction.  

     

    She could remember splitting up, him to get changed and her to order pizza.  They were suppose to fix the truck.  She couldn't remember very clearly past dialing for the pizza though.  It was all a tangled mess of pain and confusion.  It left her with nothing to do but shake her head weakly.

     

    "Sorry...going to...be...late....on your truck," she managed to get out mostly.  Against her words were somewhat slurred but the message was clear enough at least.

     

    Her mind struggled to fill in the blanks of memory.  Did she fall and hit her head?  Have some drastic allergic reaction?  Been shot?  She stretched her brain to cover things but none of them fit neatly for things.  At least...most of them didn't.

     

    "Am...I going...crazy?" she asked, the words surprisingly clear as she looked over at Kai.  That had to be it.  She didn't have any of the bite marks she had seen before on her arms.  She didn't feel like there was some disease crawling around in her blood.  She simply felt exhausted, like the muscles had all gotten used suddenly and there was no good reason for it.

     

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    Groggy protest was met with a brush of hair off her brow, apologizing softly at her cringe while he cleaned crusted blood from scratches.  Gaze moved around the room, Monk was human, so were most of her crew… not really sure she knew which ones may have been holding out on her, so she had to have a first aid kit of some kind- located on the wall by an eyewash station.  He had to give her credit, she ran it right, something he would use to his advantage when he apologized profusely in a few moments for breaking the lock on her front door and probably stealing a car.  Getting up to rifle through the first aid box, he found what he needed and returned to Mack’s side, taking the coat and putting it over the back of the couch as he slid a dry helping of antibiotic over each of her scratches with his forefinger.  Putting it away, he washed his hands and came back, looking over her arms and pulling the sleeves of her tank to one side or the other to make sure he’d gotten everything.

     

    "Pizza,"

     

    Brows raised slightly.  She remembered pizza?

     

    [kai]I take it you never ordered.[/kai]  soft humor was dark in his lowered voice, brushing the whiskey over her lower lip to help bring her back to the present, sharp inhale when she captured his thumb.

     

    Good god she was going to kill him, chin to his chest for a moment with closed eyes to regain his own bearings.  Soft eyes moved to her again, reclaiming his hand into his own space and getting back up to retrieve his leather messenger bag from work, pulling out a cell phone and sitting next to her again to help her sit up, coat slid onto rubbery limbs this time before he lay her back down.

     

    "Sorry...going to...be...late....on your truck,"

     

    Smile curled up a bit, head shaking, [kai]It’s fine.  Truck is fine.[/kai]

     

    He stepped outside the door, making the phone call that had to be made.  It wasn’t late enough to be a complete ass in calling Monk, but it was past closing time and moving toward midnight.  She wasn’t fond of talking on the phone either.  Deftly explaining in conversation, he promised his soul to the woman for her troubles.  She was going to eat Simon, but come by first to load Mack’s bike on a flat and let him pay for a car for the next few days.  He spent a few seconds disarming his interesting toy and sliding it into his leather bag as a present later for Mack, buttoning up his truck and returning to wait patiently next to her until Monk arrived.

     

    "Am...I going...crazy?"

     

    [kai]Of course not,[/kai]  expression went from staunch and unnervingly pissed to completely soft in less than a second, catching the green hues that matched his.  [kai]You fell, hit your head. Gonna bring the stray cat home with me to keep an eye on you until morning.  Monk’s going to bring over your bike on a flatbed so if you feel okay in the morning you can go home.  Didn’t think you’d appreciate me dumping you off at a hospital and leaving your bike in the alley.  She’s letting me rent a car for a few days.  No worries.[/kai] It wasn’t exactly a complete lie, but the last thing she needed right now was for him to explain he’d emptied a gun at the back window of a car he knew was trying to kill her with mojo.  That would be a conversation over breakfast.  He had a ton of questions, not really sure if he was going to ask them or just start shooting and tearing people apart.  Shoulders shuddered slightly at the thought.  This was exactly why, a prime example of the reason he fought so hard to keep things squashed.  From irreverence of death, to being completely excited at the prospect of killing… he needed the deal.  He was broken, broken beyond repair.  Even thought he deal was off for the night, he understood the need for the walls to stay up no matter how much he wanted them crumbled and buried.

     

    Eyes moved toward the door at the sound of a throaty engine similar to Mack’s, shut down and one of the overhead doors being pushed up- the smell of a wet vintage Indian rolling in to stay until she got back.  The tiny leather clad mechanic stood in the doorway a moment looking back and forth between them. He didn't know how in the hell she could physically do the things he'd seen her accomplish, tough as nails...  the errant thought that she could use a grease-monkey  like Mack was entirely selfish.  Then she wouldn't be in the Vanguard.

     

    He stood, she put her hand up.

     

    “Don’t need help, don’t wanna know… pull the overhead down, it locks on its own.  Don’t wait up for me.”  her voice was extremely quiet, reaching into her back pocket and tossing the keys at him.  “Grey Wrangler out back, hope you can drive a stick cowboy.”

     

    With that, she was gone, the sound of a substantial chain and padlock taking care of the inside of the front door for the night and leaving the overhead behind his truck partially up so he could leave.  There was no doubt in his mind the woman would have Mack’s bike safely in his apartment lot before he got there.  He sat again, brushing a lock from her ear.

     

    [kai]If I carry you to the car, you're not going to order me to put you down are you?[/kai]

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    Even though Mack managed to sit up with Kai's help she had to admit that part of her wanted to lay right back down.  The weakness in the limbs was not helping matters and she felt like it was work to keep her spine straight enough to sit up.  This was completely ridiculous over just a simple knock to the head.  Somewhere in the very back of her head she knew things did not match up.  She'd gotten clocked in the head before and knew this kind of thing didn't happen from that.  Her head should have been hurting more somewhere.  She should have been mobile quicker.  You didn't hallucinate from blows to the head. 

     

    For Mack though who's whole ability to cope with the world hinged on being able to take whatever was thrown at her, it was something she took and swallowed whole.  To admit that she was powerless against the things and simply sheep for the wolves that existed now.  She couldn't operate thinking that way, constantly in fear.  She joined the Vanguard for that reason in the first place for just that reason, because she believed no one should be powerless against those with it.

     

    She didn't hate such people, but for every Atticus and Kai there was three crazy magus, a ton of angry trolls, and a pissed off Push out there.  To admit she was defenseless against such things was to let fear eat her alive, then she really would stick the gun to her head and pull the trigger.

     

    So she believed the lie Kai told, not questioning it because it was easier.  She scowled as he said he was going to take her home, meaning his, but she understood the need.  While Mack was a firm believer in walking things off there was some things, like head wounds, that had to be carefully watched. 

     

    "Can I at least go home and get a few things?  My feet are going to start smelling horribly soon without a fresh pair of socks and I'm sure I already smell a bit from wearing the same things for two days.  Can't be pleasant for you," she commented, finding his hand to give it a squeeze even as he shuddered.  She wasn't sure why he was doing that but she could only guess it was something to do with her being a bother, thinking the night was going to go as badly as the one before, or her smell.  She opted for the last one to help ease some of the tension in the air...and hopefully the stench later, she knew how her feet got.

     

    She heard the engine and closed her eyes for the moment while Kai stood to handle whatever.  She tuned it out to rest a moment, mentally trying to prepare to stand up and move on.  She had a truck to repair after all and a promise to keep in that.  Kai might be willing to watch over her but she wasn't about to not keep her end of the bargain that dictated repairs.  Not over a simple knock to the head.  A grin spreading over her face as Kai asked if she would be ordering him to put her down while he brushed the hair back again.  It amused her a bit that he seemed to have this need to tame her hair when she had long ago given up on that particular fight.

     

    "I'm fine, or well fine enough," she corrected as her limbs were still feeling kind of rubbery.  "Need to get something done with that truck of yours and it's a bad idea for me to sleep with a crack to the head so might as well get some work done."

     

    As if hoping to prove how fine she was Mack gave a grunt of effort and pushed herself up to her legs.  Only to have them lock and wobble for a moment before she started to fall to the floor again.  She reached out and grabbed onto Kai since he was the closest thing to use to catch herself as he caught her to keep her from falling on her face.  It was a lowering (literally) experience for someone so independent to have to need help simply with walking.  She could feel her face turning red as she hung it in shame.  Bashing her skull twice in one night though did not seem a good idea.

     

    "Or...maybe I need another minute...or five..." she admitted.

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    Brows had come down unconsciously as Monk went about her business; he was making decisions on instinct.  Control, contain, protect. The human part of him still remembered what it was like to be in danger from an invisible enemy that could just as well take out Mack, himself and Monk for that matter like a ghost.  His life before the new world was littered with situations that had prepared him for this one, except most of the people he was trying to protect weren’t a plucky mechanic that had a hook on his heartstrings.  They were jobs.  Jobs he was insanely good at, but without an emotional attachment.  Emotions meant errors, and errors meant death.  The cat was engrained in his blood, emotions came along for the ride and he could do nothing about it anymore. Ignoring, didn’t make it go away.  Control, made it explosive.  Perhaps he could contain, at the very least.

     

    "Can I at least go home and get a few things?  My feet are going to start smelling horribly soon without a fresh pair of socks and I'm sure I already smell a bit from wearing the same things for two days.  Can't be pleasant for you,”

     

    Brows then popped up, cocking a bit at her comment.  Fingers scratched the back of his neck, did she KNOW how he had lived when he ran underground?  For goodness sake he was in the military, guys in the military on deep cover weren’t exactly concerned with personal needs… but he could understand it.  He didn’t consider whether or not she’d taken a shower, he went to work as a suit… she didn’t.

     

    [kai]Perfume…manufactured scents, and greasy processed food.  Plants sometimes.  Nothing else bothers me, just makes personal identification more accurate.  Everyone has a distinct marker, that’s all I really pay attention to. I’ve smelled your blood, that’s you to me now… I’ve touched you, could find you from miles away…[/kai]  it was said without emotion, really not sure how to explain it.  He was an animal.

     

    Brain was already trying to figure out how this clothing exchange was going to take place.  Clean clothes from her place, shower at his place.  Wait.  No.  Shower at her place… errr.  She was going to have to take a shower.  How was this shower thing going to work?  Lips were pursed in thought, finding himself nodding.  Either way he was going to have to stand vigilant over a shower of some kind so she didn’t topple over… most likely with his back turned, and holding his breath… the edge of a whimper caught in the back of throat and turned into a manly clearing of his throat before it escaped.  Oh good god.

      

    "I'm fine, or well fine enough,  Need to get something done with that truck of yours and it's a bad idea for me to sleep with a crack to the head so might as well get some work done."

     

    [kai]Truck is fine,[/kai]  truth was, he didn’t want her back here without him, or without anyone for that matter.  If he hadn’t been here, she would have been alone and who the hell knows what could or would have happened.  Again the march of needles over his skin, antagonism bristling.  [kai]Monk gave me another for as long as I need it.  We’ll stop at your place and get things you need, come back to mine.  You need to soak in a hot bath… or shower.  Shake off the tension, get a good night’s sleep.  We’ll talk about everything after a good night’s sleep.[/kai]

     

    Shut up Kai.

     

    The hole was getting deeper, reaching to her elbow to help her up, hoping it would go well but knowing otherwise.  Catch was instant.

     

    "Or...maybe I need another minute...or five..."

     

    [kai]We’re leaving now, it's not safe here[/kai]  there was no more discussion, and he was not going to elaborate until he could contain the situation.  He slung his bag and hoodie over his shoulder and picked her up, ducking under the overhead and touching her feet to the ground momentarily to pull it shut and hoist her back up.  The trek in the rain was going to kill him.  She was now wet again and he was holding on to her.  She was right under his nose.

     

    He was going to die.

     

    Not shot, or beheaded, or gutted.  She was going to kill him, just by being Mack.

     

    Her feet touched down again, flipping through keys and opening the door to help her in.  The old Wrangler looked like something straight out of his training days.  It was clean, seemed to be a vehicle they used to jump others by the amount of cables behind the seats, and had a charm that his upscale Mercedes utility vehicle didn’t have.  He wound around the other side and pulled himself in, putting the key in. It wouldn’t budge.  Again.  Nothing.  Neck rolled to one side to a crackle, the annoyance evident on his features as he turned it back and tried again.  The key wouldn’t budge.  Wrong key, locked steering wheel… something in the ignition… he had no patience for this.

     

    Growl from his throat was low, lean Were turning to the right and twisting to paw around on the floor behind the seats and retrieve a set of cables from amongst the many and roll out into the dark rain as he yanked on his hoodie.   Hood popped, a few moments and a bright spark preceded a sharp curse from under the hood as the engine roared to life and he returned, shaking his fingers from a near scorch.  Lights flipped on, he pushed the clutch, finding the gear and found the street.

     

    [kai]Gave me a scare you know…[/kai]  voice was quiet, reaching up to adjust the rearview, looking for more than just the building that was fading into the background.  It was a rare confession, the flood of panic thrumming to blossom again before echoing away.  [kai]Where to?[/kai]

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    "Sweet God not the fast food," Mack said with an air of horror that was not as fake as she might have wished.  Her meager attempts at making meals usually just led to frustration and a mess to clean up.  She lived off fast food and take-out and could sooner part with her first born than that.

     

    The last part was both interesting...and kind of scary so she opted to say nothing of it.

     

    She wanted to argue the truck issue though.  Mack always did her best to keep her promises and she hated the idea of leaving without at least get some things done on it.  Then Kai said bath and she lost track of the why.  Mack hadn't actually sat in a tub and had a hot bath since...Christ before the Resonance occurred?  Her own apartment only had a tiny plastic-faking-glass stall in it's bathroom and the whole thing was far to tiny for just about anyone.  Mack commonly bashed her elbows on the walls just washing her hair.  It worked mostly for the rent being so cheap.  She'd dealt with worse accommodation in Afghanistan after all.

     

    But the idea of a bath, a hot one at that instead of having to share the water heater with she forgot how many other tenants.  It was enough to make Mack want to whimper herself, doubly so if there was any soap nearby that might serve for bubbles.  She didn't do highly fragrant but bubble baths featuring piping hot water sounded an awful lot like heaven right that minute.

     

    But...that truck needed work, it was the principal of the matter and Mack might have had a literal leg to stand on had she been able to stand at all.  Instead she almost ate the floor again and was forced to admit to herself that the truck was going to have to wait for tomorrow, dammit all.

     

    Her brows drew low though as Kai said it was not safe there which was in direct contradiction to the explanation that she'd just hit her head.  She frowned at it but said nothing for now.  She was a little nervous because Kai was behaving differently.  She couldn't quite put her finger on the what but there was definitely something wrong.  She was afraid that asking about it and trying to soothe would make it worse though, which might have consequences if how he reacted to the Jeep having a bit more character than most liked was any indication.

     

    She gave the address of her apartment in Alphabet City, a more colorful part of Manhattan.  It had once been a major crossroads for people seeking drugs and just about anything else and had returned to being a red-light district after the Resonance.  Mack knew though that such things stayed to the busy parts while if you moved past such places you had just the average neighborhood.  Besides, the rent there was quite cheap and she was certainly never one that would be approached for prostitution...not without leaving someone with a broken nose anyway.

     

    "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she said in a manner that was far to meek to be normal for her.  She leaned her head against the window, looking out at the rain, trying to squash the feeling of being lost and useless that itched over the skin.  She felt raw, like someone had ripped the armor and clothes off her and she was sitting about trying to cover up the important bits while people laughed at her.

     

    Christ laughing...she couldn't seem to get the laughing out of her head.  She could remember it but she wasn't sure it was real because it was the same one from her nightmares.  Maybe knocking her head had finally caused her to crack, but then again Kai was a shrink there so he'd likely know better.  Or maybe he was placating her while the guys with the straight jackets popped up.  Actually did they even have mental hospitals these days still?  With everything else to worry about she couldn't honestly imagine it but she also couldn't claim to know in truth. 

     

    "Now I'm being a burden instead of a help to you.  Hate it when I do that.  If you want to just drop me off I can just go sit in a hospital or something.  I'm sure they can take care of me to so you can relax without having to fret over my dumb ass," she stated, her tone still quieter than her normal.

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    "Sweet God not the fast food,"

     

    It bubbled up a small chuckle that he hadn’t expected to emerge.  A comment was on his tongue, something he bit back before it sprung forth and made a bigger fucking mess of things than he could ever have imagined.  She wouldn’t have to eat fast food if there was someone to cook for her.  Who would that be?  Him?  A Were playing house.  Stupid.  It was a stupid thought and it remained unsaid, like the suggestion she work at Monks.  When had he started being so selfish and ridiculous?  Terrified that Mrs. Kolcheck was not going to come home, he didn’t want to be alone.  Ashamed of whatever this weird need was for Mack to be around.  He was treading through waters he was unsure how to navigate, so he said nothing and ran on instinct.  Training.

     

    He didn’t wait for the protests when her expression turned darker.  It wasn’t safe, the cryptic warning was hopefully enough for her to understand the urgency of leaving.  There was no time to argue or decide anything.  His truck was staying here, and they were getting out of there sooner rather than later, his less than eloquent hotwire of the Jeep quick and dirty but just as effective.  The darkness of the drive finally given silence to the whole situation, his calm and distant exterior not less than an hour ago prodded by her to crack open had been replaced by edged calm and distracted focus.  Something HAD changed in his demeanor. Before, he was willing to walk away and close off a chapter.  Now?  He was withdrawn, protective of anything he might say or do that would tip his hand, now too deep to turn back…a dive that had been pushed too far down into the darkness to ever hope getting back to the surface alive.  He’d taken the plunge, and it was probably going to kill him… metaphorically or literally.

     

    The address was somewhat familiar, oddly close to several blackout zones that were part of his debrief after numerous assignments.  He could ballpark it and find it.

      

    "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,"

     

    [kai]Wasn’t your fault,[/kai]  he answered just as quietly, stopping at a red light.  Reaching down to lift his pant leg, he pulled his boot knife and began stripping the plastic off of a set of jumper cables he still had in his lap.  He had no firearm.  Two knives, training and Were strength would only get him so far.  Wires were exposed and twisted tightly, knife under his non-clutch leg and concoction set back on his lap as he shifted and began to drive again…

     

    "Now I'm being a burden instead of a help to you.  Hate it when I do that.  If you want to just drop me off I can just go sit in a hospital or something.  I'm sure they can take care of me to so you can relax without having to fret over my dumb ass,"

     

    He’d stopped at the next light, continuing the odd ritual of whatever he was making, stopping to look at her.

     

    [kai]You are never and will never be a burden,[/kai]  expression was strange, somewhere between a softening of the focused features and perplexed, [kai]…don’t think like that.  I will always come when you call,[/kai] he said quietly as he went back to his military brat craft project, probably admitting more than he should have. 

     

    He was trying not to shrink her, one of the things he’d vowed not to do when he wasn’t working.  Everyone wasn’t a puzzle to be figured out.  It was becoming harder though, her convictions and willingness to put herself aside hinted of things that had names. Self-sacrifice, bull headed stubbornness, ignoring impulses and general wants.  She wasn’t a patient, and he wasn’t her shrink. 

     

    On about the fourth light, he’d finished his interesting toy, a lethal looking bolo that was wound into a coil and slid into his hoodie pocket. With his strength, he could break and dislocate limbs if he snared someone, even garrote them if necessary.  His thoughts were ugly, they always were in a situation where lives were in danger. It was why he was still alive.

     

    He was silent for a while, light flickering over his features as they rolled off the Brooklyn Bridge onto the FDR, finally deciding to let her in a little.

     

    [kai]Have never really had anyone around to feel needed.  Even family.  Never knew who I was really talking to.  Don’t even know if their names were real.[/kai]  voice was soft, speaking as if the world could hear his admission.  [kai]Both parents, MI-6. Came over on assumed identities, never knew why.  I went to military school, then the military.  Never home.  Never really had a home.  Even my sister was distant, if she ever really was my sister or an actress in a play family. I couldn’t find anyone when I limped back from Africa after the Nevus hit.[/kai]

     

    Eyes were searching addresses, finally pulling up in front of her apartment.

     

    [kai]Nice to… be needed,[/kai] he shrugged slightly, letting the clutch out to stall the Jeep. [kai]Never been needed before except to do dirty work.  Now I’m taking care of someone that regards me as family and I’d like to think I’m helping you… at least a little.[/kai]

     

    Leaning down, he returned the knife to his boot.  There was more lingering behind his teeth, expression full of indecision before settling on the work at hand.

     

    [kai]Let’s get your stuff and head back to my apartment.  Jacuzzi tub… a non-fast food meal, and a good night’s sleep not in a hospital.  I’ll even make breakfast before you go to work,[/kai] features were quite shy for a moment, disappearing under his hood as he yanked it up and slid out into the rainy darkness to wind around to her side.  He was viciously committed to keeping her safe from whatever ghost he was going to figure out how to kill, other reasons… he couldn’t help but thinking were incredibly selfish.  He didn’t want to be alone.  Having someone there had been nice, but it was more than that. Unfamiliar emotions that were almost impossible to untangle. He was treading unfamiliar waters and had already screwed up the night before. He wouldn’t screw up again.

     

    Door was opened and he offered his elbow if she needed it.

     

    [kai]Also need to reload your Beretta while we’re here,[/kai]  he left the reason why out of it, they needed to get in and out as quick as possible.

    Link to comment
    Mack gave a small smile at Kai's promise to always come when she called.  For one thing he could hardly come running when he was off being a were-kitty of doom.  So maybe it should have been when she called except for the black out dates.  Still the sentiment was there and she appreciated the friendship there in while doing her best not to read to much into it.  It helped to be trying to figure out what kind of thing he was doing, she was still at a loss as he pocketed the cord and figured if she needed to know so bad she could always ask.

     

    She had rather expected the trip to be spent in awkward silence and was surprised when Kai started talking.  She listened quietly as she always did.  Sympathy running across her face over things.  She had to wonder what was better, knowing your family and lossing them or never having them to begin with.

     

    "You know...I bet your supposed lack of feeling or empathy comes from that," she pointed out.  "It's hard to connect to people when you never had someone to connect to probably.  Military is great and all but it's hard on sustainable friendships and relationships.  As such you just never really learned and you haven't had to or needed the support that comes with that until nowadays."  She rubbed at face then some before shrugging.

     

    "Granted my opinion on things is not the greatest.  I mean I don't know this stuff all that great.  Hell my family wasn't anything like that.  Lots of rules and I was the family disappointment.  Led to a lot of arguments with my father until we just stopped talking."

     

    She squirmed in her seat thinking of her family, her face turning into a stony mask with eyes that were pained as one hand came up to fidget with the rings hanging with her dog tags.  There was a lot to thinking of her family, it was more like a pendulum that swung through a myriad of emotions before coming back to the pain of their loss which usually led to drinking.  She actually patted for her flask before realizing she wasn't sure where it was and that it was likely empty.  No booze for her for now.  Probably wasn't smart with bashing her head anyways.

     

    "Of course you're helping me, I mean I'm not sitting in Monk's here on my own now am I?" she pointed out with a lop-sided grin before Kai laid out the general plan and wound around the Jeep.  Mack managed to at least get her door open and was working on standing when he got there.  She was managing it...provided she held onto something.

     

    "Jacuzzi?" she said with a tone that was something like awe or worshipful as she took Kai's arm to help her along.  "Sweet God you're going to pamper me so much I'll never leave your place and mooch off you forever."

     

    The stairs down to her basement were the tricky part with the plywood ramp for her motorcycle causing the stairs to be skinnier than they were suppose to be but they managed well enough.  Kai told her about her Berretta on the way that had Mack's brow furrowing as she tried to remember when she had used it.  In the end she figured to just collect the ammo required since Kai seemed to be in a hurry about things.  Reloading took awhile and she was likely to need something to do before she went batty through the night.

     

    "Noted, now stay right there and don't touch anything.  Neighborhood isn't the greatest so I got a few...security measures I put in place," Mack said before letting go of Kai to get down on wobbly knees. She opened the door a crack before slipping a hand in and hitting something.  She used the doorknob to help her stand up and though a bit on the shaky side she pushed it open and stepped in under her own power at least.  Things were looking up!

     

    They were also looking like one of her experiments had blown up.  Mack's place was decidedly everything Kai's wasn't.  Chaotic, dark, and messy were her fortes really.  The place was one big room besides the bath.  One corner was a mess of mechanic's tools and was were she usually parked and worked on her bike or anything else with gears and wires.  Another area was an ill used kitchen that looked more like a mad scientist's chemistry lab.  A scarred dining table with chairs sat out with a number of books on guns, mechanics, chemicals, and explosives on it, some open and others not.  The last little area had a pair of mattresses thrown on the floor with a medium sized tv and a stack of comedy and action movies nearby.  There wasn't a dresser but there was a few big metal filing cabinets stacked up and together, one of the drawers was half open showing a pile of t-shirts within.

     

    What was really noticeable though was the system of fishing line that lead from the doorway to the beam overhead and across to a large canon looking creation made out of pvc pipe.  Mack's potato canon sat perfectly anchored  somehow with welded metal framing scraps, the line of fire easily seen to be aimed as the chest of whoever came in that yanked on the fishing line.  A simple, non-lethal, but assuredly painful booby trap for most things that might come in.  It wouldn't take out dragons or enraged furry mode weres likely but it would knock the air out of them long enough for someone to escape out the back door.

     

    "Figured a gut of hard uncooked potato would not be very welcome today," Mack commented even as she moved into the apartment proper.  She walked past a Mossberg combat shotgan that was hanging within easy reach of the door as she hit her table first for the ammo she was going to need, and a duffel bag that was lurking under it.  "Mossberg and Samwise there are loaded if you want to inspect them, just warning."

     

    Let's see what else was she going to need from here.  Mack started rattling off things under her breath as she moved carefully through the mess that was her place.  Her legs getting slowly better as she moved though there was wobbling here and there.

    Link to comment

    He saw the smile at his assurance he would always come if she called, corners of his eyes relaxing a bit- control abruptly pulling a smiling eager kitten back from the edge of a river where it saw an adventure.  Hard lines returned to the edges, scolding the cat from multiple directions.  It was not going to be, he couldn’t go down that road.  She didn’t want to go down that road, and he’d already fucked things up by being a drunken ass the night before.  But, he’d opened the dam in a rage, and was having a hard time steering in its wake, so he did what he knew. He talked.  Days were spent talking to people, sharing experiences and advice… just never about himself really.

     

    "You know...I bet your supposed lack of feeling or empathy comes from that,  It's hard to connect to people when you never had someone to connect to probably.  Military is great and all but it's hard on sustainable friendships and relationships.  As such you just never really learned and you haven't had to or needed the support that comes with that until nowadays."

     

    [kai]I really don’t know,[/kai] he was almost ashamed he’d said anything, now it was out there.  Nobody knew, he never told anyone about his failure... the scrutiny was uncomfortable.  [kai]I mean… I know I care, but… it’s only recently I’ve started to really think I feel anything in my gut. I mean…[/kai]

     

    He couldn’t explain it, didn’t want to explain it, so he just let it go with a shrug.

     

    "Granted my opinion on things is not the greatest.  I mean I don't know this stuff all that great.  Hell my family wasn't anything like that.  Lots of rules and I was the family disappointment.  Led to a lot of arguments with my father until we just stopped talking."

     

    There were never any arguments in his world.  It was said, and obeyed.  How had he started down that road?  Did he ever just say no?  Lashes blinked slowly, not missing the pat for her flask.  It was in his bag behind the seat, unfortunately almost empty.  Soft twinkle of rings handing from tags had not escaped his attention either.  Wondering about them often, never finding the right moment or subject to ask.  Husband? Family?  He had no idea, the Were didn’t keep things like that.  Only his weapons.  It was such a bleak thing to think weapons were his family.  Keys were pushed into his pocket, really hoping they would work this time when she was finished gathering her things.  The smile was genuine in response to her admitted he was helping.  At least, he wasn’t hurting this time… that was a start.

      

    "Jacuzzi?  Sweet God you're going to pamper me so much I'll never leave your place and mooch off you forever."

     

    Smile widened, toothy canines visible for a moment despite the inner scolding… the reason for his decision to have it slowly seeping melancholy into his expression as they moved down the stair gauntlet.

     

    [kai]Unfortunately, unlike others… I feel the changes. It helps after I come home.[/kai]  it was said so quietly, he doubted she heard it as he stayed where he was told and she disarmed her ingenious booby trap.  [kai]…but it’s all yours tonight if you want it.[/kai]

     

    Eyes focused into her apartment when she pushed the door open, an unreadable expression washing over his features.  Oddly enough, the reaction wasn’t impulsive to clean everything- instead inciting a memory long filed away.  He remained where he was as she moved inside, eyes peering upward a moment from under his hood at the drizzle, then back to the barrel of the canon that was aimed at his chest as he stood there. It bristled his hackles, he did not like things pointed at him, it incited trained instinct that only led to worse things.

       

    "Mossberg and Samwise there are loaded if you want to inspect them, just warning."

     

    Was he being invited in?  She’d told him to stay there.  Footstep in was tentative, closing the door behind him and removing the Beretta from the back of his waistband, watching her to make sure she was moving okay.  Spying the correct ammo on the table, he instinctively began to reload it.  His expression remained somewhat amused as he worked.  It even felt the same, a warm memory in a sea of cold and violent ones.

     

    [kai]Knew this old guy once… was a Russian contact.  Most amazing mad scientist type you’ve ever seen.  Incredible bomb maker.  Brilliant.  Stayed with him for a while during an assignment, slept on a worn-in lazy boy and a blanket fort of homemade quilts for months. Best sleep I've ever had.  Kept trying to fix me up with his daughter and convince me to drink his bootleg homemade vodka.  Reminds me of his place...[/kai]

     

    Reminiscent chuckle deep in his chest was real, setting the Beretta on the table for her.  He was now completely unarmed.  There were parts of a gun that could be used as weapons in close combat, but now…  he had nothing but is own self, a few knives and some improvised items.

     

    [kai]Turned out his daughter was my target.  Never did try the vodka.[/kai]

     

    He was studying one of her concoctions with interest, head tilting slightly.

     

    [kai]Taught me some interesting things though… should show you,[/kai]  one  in fact, was in his bag in the Jeep, eyes flicking to find her… impatient.  [kai]Have everything?[/kai]

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    Mack did hear Kai's quiet comment but much like his comments of not being the bitten kind of were she had no context for things and let them pass without questioning for now.  Maybe someday she would ask but since he was in a hurry and she wasn't moving the fastest she figured another time would be better.

     

    She moved carefully, more to make sure she wasn't going to take a tumble than she was worried about anything else.  All the delicate stuff stayed in Mack's kitchen and it was usually the explosive kind so anyone with a brain was careful around that.  She had to grin as Kai told the story of an old Russian.  Considering her definition of an old Russian was Vacily now it should have not fit so well.  Then again she could far to easily imagine Vacily making bombs.  Considering how he had creamed the magus threatening her though she couldn't imagine Vacily letting the guy that tried to kill (or maybe did kill) his daughter getting away.

     

    "Sadly I haven't figured out how to distill decent booze yet.  Would certainly help with my bills if I could.  It always tastes horrible so I think I'll stick with the boom," she commented as she set the duffel she had grabbed down and started looking and snapping up clothes from the drawers.  Her system for laundry was very easy, if it was on the floor it was dirty.  "But I will say I've learned that you don't mess with Russians.  One of my bosses is technically an old Russian and that bugger creamed a pair of magus by himself after a vicious beat down.  All because one of them was far to set on a date and didn't like it when I told him no.  Bastard should have been happy I didn't dump the whiskey on his head and I was being civil."

     

    She chuckled at his comment of showing her a few things as she hobbled to the bath to collect things and then returned.  Considering her grandfather had started her interest in explosives young she knew well that there was always new recipes to learn.  It was like being a cook, except you didn't eat what you made and it caused a mess instead.  She had to wonder if she might teach him a few things too, though she couldn't imagine why he might need it considering Kai wasn't a covert op anymore and was doing good at the civilian part of things.  Minus a few arts and crafts anyways.

     

    "Believe I got it all," Mack said looking around with a thoughtful look as she mentally went over things.  Change of clothes, work uniform that was clean, socks, toothbrush, hair brush, an extra pack of smokes, pajamas, oh right... "Just need..."

     

    She had to search for a moment to hunt up a pair of shorts that would be comfortable enough to sleeping.  Usually she opted for just the huge t-shirt but she figured shorts would be a good idea so as not to flash her underwear all the time.  Though she did have a moment of pondering that.  It was simply difficult to keep Kai in the Were and not-to-be-involved with category when he was being so...well boyfriend like.  She'd hurt herself and had been busy all day and he was taking care of her, that kind of smacked of at least friend material if not more...

     

    It was very tempting to have the more that was for sure.

     

    Mack tossed the shorts in and secured the duffel before picking it up.  It didn't weigh to much thankfully so she could manage to carry it at least as she made her way back towards the door.  She gave her shotgun by the door a considering look before shaking her head.  She was being paranoid and who exactly was she going to use that shotgun on?  Kai?  There was no sense in bringing it with.  Telling herself that she went about collecting the end of the fishing line to rearm the trap after Kai was out.  It only took a moment to actual do so and then it was back in the Jeep for them.

     

    "Sooo...what happened with your old Russian?  I mean unless you would rather not talk about it.  I'm just curious what happened when you found out his daughter was your target is all," Mack asked as they settled back in the car, damp and cold but read for the trek to Kai's.

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    "Sadly I haven't figured out how to distill decent booze yet. Would certainly help with my bills if I could. It always tastes horrible so I think I'll stick with the boom,"

     

    He’d knelt smoothly to eye level with something on a counter, feline green narrowed at the thing as he studied it. Knowing better than to touch anything in her eclectic fun time apartment. It itched at his sensibilities, sure… prickling the incredible urge to just start cleaning and organizing, but details were appreciated for the fluid machines of creativity they were. What she did was an art in its own right, even if he was lumping what he used to do in that category too. [kai]…can’t help you with that. No more for me, ever. Not sure why I’ve never had the head for it.[/kai]

     

    "But I will say I've learned that you don't mess with Russians. One of my bosses is technically an old Russian and that bugger creamed a pair of magus by himself after a vicious beat down. All because one of them was far to set on a date and didn't like it when I told him no. Bastard should have been happy I didn't dump the whiskey on his head and I was being civil."

     

    Russians from his experience always ran hot. They were a passionate people, about something or other. You pissed them off in their circle of passion, and your were pretty much fucked until you made amends.

     

    [kai]They’re good at that,[/kai] he responded quietly, standing and crossing his arms to wait until she was finished. Her chuckle about tossing some learned info her way pulled his brows down. [kai]I didn’t just shoot people and stick knives in all the right places. Sometimes there were other ways I controlled and contained. I did actually get to save lives too.[/kai]

     

    Lips quirked a bit, not really wanting to divulge more than he had to. He understood very clearly that she was probably trying to separate the man from the Were, or look at him as something other than a frothing monster. He didn’t want to make that job harder for her than it already was. She did work for Vanguard after all, so the slippery slope she was trying to maintain her balance on could not have been an easy one to justify. If he started talking about the things he’d done before he was the local counselor in a suit, he wasn’t sure she’d be able to associate that with him instead of the Were.

     

    He blinked as she seemed to be done. No shower here? Hands slid into his jean pockets… yes, right. He had offered his Jacuzzi tub after all. That seemed to point to a trust beyond the whole Were problem, offering was probably not sound judgment or a good idea on his part, but it was the right thing to do and got her under his watch until he figured out how horribly he wanted someone to suffer. The glance at the shotgun was not missed as he followed her out, unsure if it was a good sign or not. Picking up the Beretta again, he slid it into his hoodie pocket as he stepped out and pondered whether or not he should offer to carry her bag. She seemed to somewhat have her feet back under her. Would probably piss her off. Sliding back into the driver’s seat, narrowed eyes stared down the steering wheel, slipping the key back in and turning it. Nothing. Lips pursed, wiggling the stick loosely to make sure it wasn’t in gear and letting go of the clutch, pressing it again and pushing his toe as far down as it could go. Key turned slightly, wiggling it… it clicked the rest of the way and the engine roared to life. So it was temperamental, if that wasn’t a euphemism for his life at the moment he didn’t know what was.

     

    "Sooo...what happened with your old Russian? I mean unless you would rather not talk about it. I'm just curious what happened when you found out his daughter was your target is all,"

     

    It was a clusterfucked mess?

     

    [kai]Unfortunately didn’t work out well for him,[/kai] it was quiet. He had to admit he missed the old guy. [kai]It was as close as it gets to a movie plot except the bullets aren’t fake. She finally came for dinner after her batya tried to set us up, recognized me from a previous engagement. Trying to keep your own self alive while a trained agent is trying to kick the crap out of you in a bomb master’s apartment is never a good end to an assignment.[/kai]

     

    It was also where he’d almost been killed. The nick on his ear, stabbed in the kidney. He killed many people, but it was the only time he’d actually killed someone with his bare hands while looking them in the eye. Snapped necks were easy when one wasn’t expecting it, choking someone to death with your forearm while dying from a stab wound wasn’t exactly in his training.

     

    [kai]Turns out she was taking his work and selling it to the highest bidder. I thought he was involved at first, just humoring me to get her there. She’d stabbed me during the fight, nicked my spleen, was pretty much a star in a book at that point. He took me to a hospital, not the greatest doctors but they had the basic tools to patch me up so I didn’t bleed to death. Got an infection. He tipped off a local embassy that an injured American was there. That battery acid vodka kept the infection out long enough to be retrieved. Owe him my life. Never saw him again.[/kai]

     

    He'd gotten wind that the old guy had been picked up after that for being suspected of his daughter’s crimes.

     

    [kai]Looked for him, was never able to track him down.[/kai]

     

    Pulling into his parking lot, Monk had done what she’d promised, Mack’s bike in the lot and covered with a rather nice rain drape. She owed him his ass on this one. He hopped out, leaving Mack under her own power, eyes sweeping their entire surroundings before keying into the building. The mantra had continued to thrum in his brain, contain. He had to contain. Apartment was a welcome sight, setting his bag carefully next to the door and welcoming Mack into the apartment.

     

    [kai]Bathroom is yours,[/kai] he pulled the Beretta out of his pocket and set it on the coffee table. [kai]You know the rest,[/kai] smile was light, pulling off his hoodie and tossing it into the dryer. He knelt immediately and slid up his pantlegs to unlace his jump boots, setting them to the side of the door. [kai]I’m going to make some dinner, let me know if you need anything.[/kai]

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    Mack shot Kai a questioning look as he seemed to try and impress on her that he saved lives as well as took them.  Maybe he forgot she was military or thought the grunts just had a different view of the world or something but she understood.  Soldiers were not meant to be killers or weapons, they were defenders originally.  They didn't like fighting but they accepted the job because someone had to do it.  She herself might have shot people and blown them up but she'd also saved a lot of lives, military and civilian, by dismantling bombs and land mines.  No profession was wholly evil really but people's choices could make it so.  Robin Hood might have been a criminal but he was also a guy giving everything to the poor.

     

    She wondered what bothered Kai just then that he thought she would see him poorly.

     

    The were bit likely.  Maybe she should reassure him about that since it was kind of the elephant in the room.  They never really reached an understanding about that but it felt like poking the proverbial (and maybe literal) tiger.  It was made more difficult because it was a muddled thing to Mack still.  She wasn't sure how to really deal with things but at the same time she knew things she wasn't going to do.

     

    She'd think about it later, right now didn't seem like a good idea for talking about it all anyway.  Not when she was still feeling a bit on the weak side and had the gut feeling of something wrong even if her brain hadn't worked things out.

     

    So instead she asked about the Old Russian and cringed as Kai mentioned a fight in a bomb master's apartment.  She wouldn't want to have a fight for survival in hers either, which of course was one of the reasons for the potato canon precaution.  If required she had no problems blowing the place up, most of her concoctions, even used together, shouldn't bring the place down just cause some fire damage.

     

    Mack could however commiserate over looking for someone and finding nothing.  That had been a long frustration before Mack just accepted the inevitable, that her family had to be dead.

     

    "I'm sorry.  Maybe he's still out there somewhere putting together bombs for fun and blowing up zombies or the like?" she said with a hopeful tone.  Anything was possible after all.

     

    She was quiet for the rest of the ride, thoughts of family always drove her to silence and made her itch for a drink that she wasn't getting.  It also meant remembering her nightmares since they were commonly featured in them, which in turn touched off the cold crawling dread and hazy recollections of trying to claw her own flesh off because it was rotting before her eyes.

     

    She stayed in the Jeep for a moment, afraid to get out suddenly.  Some primitive part of her brain recognizing that she was being hunted even as she called herself an idiot for it.  For starters Kai sure as Hell would have told her if someone was hunting her.  Not to mention that who would want to hunt her down?  She wasn’t anyone important and if they were targeting the Vanguard they would be going after higher ups or armed patrols.  People didn’t think of mechanics in the motor pool when they decided to hunt Vanguard soldiers.  There was simply no logic for matters.

     

    But for once since the Resonance, Mack found herself afraid of the dark.

     

    It took her longer than it should have to remove herself from the borrowed jeep and half the time it should have for her to bolt to the door and almost run Kai over getting into where there was light.  Call her weird but Mack was a believer that if your body told you to run, you did it.

     

    It wasn’t until she was across the threshold and in Kai’s apartment that her brain stopped being so paranoid.  She had a white knuckle grip on her bag and her eyes had been flicking everywhere but for whatever reason, be it because of him being a Were with really good senses, his background, or just some weird perverse sense of not being alone Mack felt better being in Kai’s place.  She didn’t like terming it safer even though it did float to mind.  After all, if something wanted you dead bad enough what exactly was safe these days?

     

    A black ops trained were-cat that didn’t mind you seemed pretty good to her right that minute against the boogeyman in the dark.  Even if it was lowering and aggravating.


    {color=#50A6C2]“Thanks for this Kai,”[/color] she told him suddenly feeling sheepish even as she reminded herself it was his idea to bring her here in the first place for a simple knock to the head.  “I mean it this is...really sweet.”

     

    She caught his arm like she always seem to manage, pushing up a bit on her toes so she could brush a kiss over his cheek in gratitude before heading off to steal his bathroom for a few oh...lifetimes.

     

    Damn room could have fit four of her own, not to mention her tiny shower stall might have fit twice in Kai’s.  Christ she needed a better place, but she never could manage to justify it due to how hard she was on things.  Nice things broke around her, or got stained, cracked, and otherwise destroyed.  She’d always been hard on things even as a child.  Wasn’t any reason to expect differently now.

     

    Her bag hit the floor with a thump and Mack about cried seeing the jacuzzi tub.  She was going to hog that whole thing for at least an hour, and not squeal in glee form it...much.

     

    Although Mack had her own soaps and such she’d left them at home for fear of Kai’s nose reacting badly.  If anyone had stuff approved for his snout it would be Kai himself so Mack figured it was better to borrow a little of his in this case.  She raided his soaps and was vastly amused to find actual bubble bath in with it all.  He did mention his shifts hurting and such but she would never have pegged him for a bubble bath kind of guy.  Did he have salts hiding somewhere to?  Maybe a shower cap to keep his hair pretty?

     

    The mental image of a Kai in a bubble bath with rubber duckies and a shower cap was amusing and had Mack giggling to herself as hot water and bubbles built up in the tub and she kicked off her clothes.  Said image didn’t stay funny and innocent though as she could far to easily imagine taking some bubbles and rubbing them over his cheeks and chin.  Specially when he got that scruffy look…

     

    Christ she was not imagining that!  Were, Vanguard, weird?  Did she forget that part of things?

     

    Mack shook her head as she turned off the water and eyed the bandages on her arms.  She should probably try and keep them dry, if only because it would be rude to mess up Kai’s handiwork.  If she’d really had some sense she would have thought to ask about some plastic bags to put over them but obviously her knock to the head had jogged her brain to addled given her sudden rashes of paranoia, flights of fancy, and generally swinging moods.  To think she wasn’t anywhere near her period for this crap either.

     

    With a few hisses while her skin got use to it Mack climbed into the tub.  A heart felt groan rattling around as she sunk in and did her best to keep her arms on the tub rim.  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph she’d forgotten how damn good a bath felt, and she hadn’t even turned on the jets yet!

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    "I'm sorry.  Maybe he's still out there somewhere putting together bombs for fun and blowing up zombies or the like?"
     

    All he could manage was silence, unsure why he’d opened up to her about it in the first place.  He didn’t talk about his past much, if at all.  Maybe the guy was trying to find him.  More likely he was trying to find out who the hell the Were was while determining the best and most painful ways to kill him.  Things had ended badly, but he’d tried to find him. Hard to explain that to someone when you couldn’t say it to them face to face.  It was the nightmares vendettas were made out of- the sudden parallel bringing a thoughtful settle to his features as he drove home.

     

    Her pause at getting out of the Jeep wasn’t missed, the anger in his chest furling outward like ink through water.  It was dangerously tiptoeing around a rage, the keen gaze traveling over their surroundings more than once with Mack always keenly squared in his peripheral.  He had let it loose, justified.  Now they would have to deal with the consequences… he wasn’t going to snap back its leash and for that it seemed addictively grateful.  They deserved everything the cat could deal out, including the wrath of the man behind it.

     

    She was scared, it itched at the inside of his senses as they moved upward toward his apartment, anger shivering just under his skin at his inability to do anything about it.  After he’d stood from removing his boots, he didn’t move forward, reaching to unbuckle the knife that was strapped to his bicep and place it on the table next to the door.  They were going to have to have a long conversation, the quiet placement of the makeshift bolo next to it a foreshadowing that he didn’t want to divulge yet. 

     

    “Thanks for this Kai, I mean it this is...really sweet.

     

    Blink was soft at her thanks, unsure what to answer.  His muscles froze when she caught his arm- now devoid of a weapon, breath held as she kissed him, unblinking until she almost seemed to skip toward his bathroom.  The day old scruff made the sound of soft sandpaper as he absently reached up to scratch his cheek. She should not have done that.  Growl in his throat was determined as she slipped beyond the door… pancakes.  He had to do something or the world would get torn down.  He was going to make midnight pancakes.  The homebody Were moved without thought, trying to fill the apartment with some other scent than Mack’s wet skin.

     

    Bad idea.  Having her here again was another one of his bad ideas. This time though, it had purpose.  Food cooking quietly, dining room chairs were discretely set aside and rug flipped up. A sleek case emerged, along with appropriate ammunition and everything was returned to normal, padding quickly to the kitchen to flip the pancakes and crack eggs into a skillet- trying to ignore the sound of hissing and movement of water from his bathroom.  Oven flicked on to keep things warm, he finished his cooking and made plates, putting a cover over both to keep them warm and sliding them into the oven to wait for her to finish.  Lights were turned off, swathing the entire apartment in shadow, soft sounds of a turning dryer and occasional movement of water masking his completely silent movement.

     

    Inaudible footsteps took him past the bathroom with his items to his study, green lampshaded reading lamp turned on with a pull.  Both Para’s were checked, extra mags prepared and rounds chambered, set neatly on his desk.  The case pulled from under his table was opened, checked and closed again to slide under his desk for easy access.  The other, was placed on the floor and opened, methodically snapped together and loaded. Scope was kept off, walking silently through his dark apartment to stop at the creep of light on polished wood from underneath the bathroom door.  He stood there a long moment... finally knocking gently.

     

    "Reach outside the tub, dial is there to turn it on,"  words were quiet, moving past to the glass doors of his balcony.  Breath was forced even to keep his calm.  The world looked so different through a scope as he scanned through the shadows, repeating the same sweep from each of his windows.  Everything was quiet.

     

    Precious cargo slid under the couch as his prepped his room for her.  He would sleep on the couch.  Of all the rooms in the apartment, it was the most secure, and the living room gave him full access to any room in a split second.  Spare pillows and blanket transferred onto the couch, he stopped in his room to change quietly.  Dry clothes, soft black drawstring pants with their familiar three white stripes down the sides, a white teeshirt.  Others were tossed in the hamper, returning to the living room to flop onto the couch and turn the television on- illuminating the apartment other than the oven light over the stove to wait for Mack to emerge. If she ate and went to sleep without a worry they would speak about it in the morning after she pulled her strength back about her.  If not... he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

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