29 posts in this topic

Quite the explosion.  If he only knew.  He didn't think Gabe truly understood the level at which he operated.  It was only a short distance between safety and fury with him.  What he said in Glamis had not been a threat.  He could deliver everything he promised.  At this point though, he wanted to disappear and leave it behind.  Superficially, he knew he'd done that, truly... he knew he never could.  Everyone else in the damn world had been able to reinvent themselves, why was he the only one  that wasn't allowed to?

 

Pale eyes flicked to him, hand patting the top of his head again to find his glasses.  Eyes weren't much better, had he lost the damn things?

 

Dull stare focused on the hills his legs made under the white blankets, fuzzy around the edges of his vision.  Bad vision, meds, pain, exhaustion... yet he listened.

 

Lashes blinked slowly and the quirked expression cocked his brow as he sought the man out in the darkness.  Was he avoiding him because...?  Because he thought the Czech wanted out?  God damn it.  The most hard headed, brilliant yet oblivious person he had ever met...

 

"Jesus criminey Gabe..."

 

He flopped back on the mountain of pillows with a defeated huff, followed by a pained seethe.  Okay, the collar bone hurt a lot.  Ginger temper and impatience.  Eyes closed, back of his hand resting on his forehead.

 

"Jacob wishes we were done... "

 

He mumbled it under his breath.  That was a shit storm they were going to have to bring to the table, soon.  Jacob was like a damn guard dog that wanted to take a chunk out of his arm because the man didn't deem the ginger worthy.

 

"I don't eat, sleep unless you remind me to and you don't even NEED to eat... your office is constantly covered in my paper crap.  I drink from the carton, hide your booze and let you drive that French German Italian bastard car like a bat out of hell, and your best friend hates my guts.  You shouldn't be putting up with me.:

 

He paused a long time, dry throat finally cracking a quiet voice.  It was becoming very apparent there was some serious friction between he and the bouncer.

 

"My brain never stops moving.  I run on a clock that nobody understands.  Glamis feels like yesterday.  The shit storm over the last few days in New York feels like forever ago.  I didn't realize it had been so long since Scotland.  I wasn't feeling like... myself at the cabin after Maree showed up."

 

Hand moved off his forehead under his own power to take a drink.

 

"Ten years  of my life learning to be alone, okay with the idea of putting a gun in my mouth up until you stuck a knife in my ribs and...  filled this... hole in my life.  I almost didn't want her to be alive, then I felt guilty for that.  I've only ever had to rely on one other person in my life.  Now there's two... and I feel guilty I want her to stay in New York, and us here.  Like I'm betraying her because I want to stay here with you."

 

Glass clinked softly on the table.

 

"I was avoiding.  Sorry for that."

 

Sorry didn't seem like enough... hi I ignored you for months because I couldn't get my shit together, then go on a suicide mission, come back alive and blow myself up.  Sorry.

 

Thumb wiped crusted moisture from the outside corners of his eyes. 

 

"I'm a nerd... you know nerds have no social skills until after a few whisky shots."

 

Lips pursed up slightly, his quirky humor urging the older man to loosen up.  They were oddly perfect together, two suns caught in each others gravity.

 

"I'll get you something.  It will take a while though, but that's the point.  Not supposed to be easy.  If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth fighting for.."

 

Sigh was soft, met with a cough and sharp 'fuck'.  He had to get out of this damn bed...

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Dark eyes watched the hand pat his head, almost breaching a smile across his lips. Looking for his glasses again.  He really needed to get Chelsea to look at Bo's vision, see if there was options…. was lasik even a thing anymore? The Spaniard had no idea.

 

Confession was naked and incredibly vulnerable. The reaction, however,  wasn’t exactly what he expected.

 

"Jesus criminey Gabe..."

 

Blink was a bit confused.  Brow lifting as the Czech fell back against his pillows and huffed at him before seething a groan of pain.

 

"Jacob wishes we were done... "

 

I don’t care what other people wish……..care what you wish……..

 

Soft words came instantly to the mumbled complaint.  It was the truth. Ausar himself could forbid a relationship and the Spaniard would defy him if it was what the Czech wanted.

 

"I don't eat, sleep unless you remind me to and you don't even NEED to eat... your office is constantly covered in my paper crap.  I drink from the carton, hide your booze and let you drive that French German Italian bastard car like a bat out of hell, and your best friend hates my guts.  You shouldn't be putting up with me."

 

……..putting up with you implies I do so out of obligation….. being with you has never been an obligation to me Bodhan….

 

Quiet words licked of his heritage accent. It happened the most when he was exhausted and emotional, the full name that was rarely used hanging warm in the air.

 

"My brain never stops moving.  I run on a clock that nobody understands.  Glamis feels like yesterday.  The shit storm over the last few days in New York feels like forever ago.  I didn't realize it had been so long since Scotland.  I wasn't feeling like... myself at the cabin after Maree showed up."

 

Nod was faint in the dark. He knew that, and knew it was too much to expect the Czech to commit at the same time as the reunion. That had not been what embedded the doubt for the Spaniard. It had been the growing distance, the silence, the lack of any contact.

 

"Ten years  of my life learning to be alone, okay with the idea of putting a gun in my mouth up until you stuck a knife in my ribs and...  filled this... hole in my life.  I almost didn't want her to be alive, then I felt guilty for that.  I've only ever had to rely on one other person in my life.  Now there's two... and I feel guilty I want her to stay in New York, and us here.  Like I'm betraying her because I want to stay here with you."

 

He wanted...... to stay? It was an odd revelation for the Spaniard. Lips parted then closed, unsure what it was he would say. The Czech forever felt like he was trying to get away. The last six months had been an endless procession of feeling the younger man was trying to escape.

 

"I was avoiding.  Sorry for that."

 

Swallow was tight as he tried to digest it all. The words wanted to beckon relief but the last six months left him cautious. Perhaps this was just the pain meds talking?

 

"I'm a nerd... you know nerds have no social skills until after a few whisky shots."

 

 The tickle of a smile finally emerged over his lips, the barest hint of a chuckle rumbling in the barrel chest. The Czech was definitely more social after a few drinks. Of course that was a double edged sword, it made him flirty too and not always with the Spaniard. It had been a long time since the Czech had been that relaxed…. a very long time.

 

"I'll get you something.  It will take a while though, but that's the point.  Not supposed to be easy.  If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth fighting for.."

 

I have never needed anything but you….. just you…..

 

It was cliché but….it was the truth.

 

The cough drew the Spaniard instantly forward. Red, bald head penetrated the soft blue light of the indicator on the IV stand as the large hand rested on the chest to lightly compress, quelling the urge to cough knowing the ribs and shoulder would be angry with that form of concussive violence.

 

You need rest….

 

Soft words came as his thumb stole the opportunity to gently rub along the chest as his hand held the compression.

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Lip quirked upward at the chuckle.  He knew Gabe was upset, he wasn't ignorant to that... it was just, the man was really sensitive... and he had no other way to weasel through to him than humor.  He wasn't used to people not knowing what he was thinking.  It just meant, well fuck, they needed to really spend more time together.

 

Cough shot pain through those thoughts, the compression of his chest welcome... bringing his breathing back to a normal flow.  The visual of his Spaniard, was not.

 

Brow furled at the man, taking in what had happened.

 

Fire.. sun..  none of the above..??  Someone else while he was away?  The expressions flickering over his face from guilty, to anger... revenge promised to whomever had done it... then back to guilt.

 

"I did this.."

 

Face scrunched tight as he rubbed his eyes, already guilty and on a teetering edge- he just knew.  Brain put back together the time of day he'd fled the plane, when he started his 'cleansing' of his property, how long it would take Jacob to tattle, Gabe to travel.

 

Sun or fire.  Maybe both.

 

"I'm always fucking things up."

 

Fingers closed over the hand on his chest, the exhale a small wheeze.  It wasn't true, he knew it wasn't true... even the inkling that he'd probably just helped save the eastern seaboard didn't make up for the fact that his actions had hurt Gabe.

 

Face released, swallow thick.

 

"How long will it take you to... get better..."

 

They never talked about stuff like that... the Czech always burning with questions but never asking.

 

"Lot less than my collarbone I would imagine.."

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He caught the furl of the brow and instantly it was mirrored. He didn’t want the Czech worrying about him.

 

"I did this.."

 

Head shook as the hands that went to rub tired eyes were caught by oddly soft hands, the new skin still lacking the normal calluses.

 

Nah…..I had an argument with the sun…. you will be happy to know I won….. he is off sulking at the moment.

 

Smile was gentle, bathed in the glow of blue indicator light the missing eyebrows and lashes were also visible giving the Spaniard an oddly ethereal appearance.

 

"I'm always fucking things up."

 

Thumb rubbed over the fingers that closed over his hand.

 

Not your fault Sun got randy…..

 

Smile still lingered.

 

"How long will it take you to... get better... lot less than my collarbone I would imagine.."

 

A soft chuckle again murmured in the deep chest, a warmth that it had lacked lately in his sullen sulking.

 

Ya… skin already stopped sloughing off, just a little raw still…. the hair….

 

Hand lifted to lightly rub over the balded head with ginger pressure to ensure he didn’t peel the still fragile skin.

 

Well…. last time I fritzed in the sun I had no more than peach fuzz for a good month,  took a few months for it to grow completely back.  

 

Lopsided grin came with a shrug as he lightly brushed the collarbone.

 

Probably have all my hair back about when this is fully healed.

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